


Torn 2: Trust

by AmandaHawthorn



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-31
Updated: 2018-03-31
Packaged: 2019-04-16 06:17:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 40,762
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14158620
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AmandaHawthorn/pseuds/AmandaHawthorn
Summary: This was serious now, and he hadn’t really had time to think of how they were going to handle being this close to each other. They hadn’t spoken of sleeping arrangements or how they were going to do this exactly, but when he turned to look across at her, he could see her eyes shining through the dimness of the room. Sequel to Torn





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Walking Dead doesn't belong to me unfortunately
> 
>  
> 
> For those readers who requested a sequel to my story Torn. I hope it doesn't disappoint

The sky was starting to turn to dusk, casting eerie shadows over the unkempt house that had been Carol’s temporary home. Holding onto her hand, Daryl pushed open the metal gate and tried not to think of the last time he was here. For him, this house had been the one place where he had felt so desolate...he’d felt pure joy at seeing Carol again, but at the same time, this place had driven a wedge between them. He’d wanted to both stay and leave at the same time...he’d wanted to burrow himself away with her and never come out again, but she hadn’t been ready for anything other than what she could offer back then...but if she would have asked him to stay, he still didn’t know whether he’d have been ready either.

 

Delving into his jeans pocket, Daryl fished out a small key that jangled on a metal ring and slid it into the padlock that he’d placed on the door when he was here the day before. The lock clicked and the metal loop popped open, and when he slipped the whole lock off, he looked down at her with a nervous smile.

 

“When did you do this?” Carol asked curiously as he pushed the door open and led her inside. “And where did you find a padlock?”

 

“Got it from Jerry when I told him I was bringin’ ya back here,” Daryl told her, leading her to the small sofa, easing her down onto it. “He was harpin’ on about ya not bein’ safe when ya was here before….told him ya can take care a yerself.”

 

“Jerry has always been a little...protective,” she chuckled, even though she could feel so many worries stirring inside her now. She watched him as he moved back towards the door, pushing it closed again to shut themselves away from the outside world.

 

Daryl’s fingers shook when he slid the bolts across the top and bottom, every clunk causing his anxiety to escalate. Back at the kingdom, they had been surrounded by people and never really alone despite being in a room. This, this was totally different...here they had privacy...no one could walk in at any time, or catch them doing anything other than holding hands. This was serious now, and he hadn’t really had time to think of how they were going to handle being this close to each other. They hadn’t spoken of sleeping arrangements or how they were going to do this exactly, but when he turned to look across at her, he could see her eyes shining through the dimness of the room.

 

“There’s some matches in the kitchen,” she told him softly, knowing that he was having the same worries as she was. “They’re in one of the drawers.”

 

“Alright,” he nodded, and tried desperately to stop his whole body from shaking as he made his way towards the tiny kitchen. He couldn’t understand why he was so nervous...this was Carol. He loved and trusted her, so why was he so...terrified?

 

Pulling open one of the drawers, he skimmed his fingers over the contents blindly until he felt the unmistakable oblong box and pulled it out. Shaking it as if to clarify he had indeed found what he was looking for, he swallowed the nerves rampaging through him and returned back into the small living room, and made his way towards the table. Picking up one of the stubby candles, he placed it beside two others before he opened the match box and struck the thin wooden stick against the striking surface. The instant smell of sulfur floated reassuringly through the air, when the head of the match burst into flame. Picking up a candle, he lit the wick and smiled in satisfaction when the warm brightness filled the room with flickering light. He then quickly lit another two half melted candles before the match burnt itself out.

 

“There’s more candles in the kitchen,” Carol’s voice broke through the silence and he turned to look at her. “I found a whole bunch of them in one of the cupboards when I found this place.”

 

“S’good,” he nodded thoughtfully, “I spoke to Ezekiel before I brought ya here. If we’re gonna stay, he said we can have some of the solar panels we took from the Sanctuary.”

 

“That’ll be good,” she smiled, hoping that he couldn’t hear the slight tremor in her voice. “I grew to kinda like it here...I hope...maybe you will too.”

 

Daryl swallowed hard and watched as she lowered her gaze and he shook his head. This was ridiculous...a few hours ago he’d practically had his tongue down her throat and now they were acting all bashful with each other. Lifting one of the lit candles, he used it to light several others before he made his way towards her on the sofa and placed the flickering light onto the coffee table before he moved to sit beside her.

 

“You’re here,” he told her softly as he reached across to slip his hand over hers in her lap. “I’ll like it just fine.”

 

Uncurling her fingers, Carol turned her hand beneath his and threaded their fingers together before she leaned her head against his shoulder. She couldn’t seem to stop the nerves from spreading through her. She suddenly felt the same fluttering that she’d had on her very first date; she’d been a ball of nerves then too. Living here together, without anyone else would inevitably lead to a more, deeper level to their relationship. Even though she knew that sex was a little way off from the two of them yet, she was trembling inside like the night she’d lost her virginity. It was totally ridiculous that she had such a nervous reaction to him, but maybe that was because Daryl actually meant everything to her. She was terrified that when he finally saw her naked body, he’d realise that she wasn’t the fantasy woman he’d made her out to be. She wasn’t an adventurous lover, or even a good one. According to Ed, he’d compared her to a cold fish that just laid there...and maybe she was. Sex with him was always over in minutes. She didn’t love him enough to try and find that intimacy that was supposed to come with making love...maybe it didn’t exist, and it was all one big lie that was made up by all of those romance novelists.

 

Daryl’s hand sent a reassuring warmth through her body, his touch spreading over to calm the trembling inside her. This was all so new to both of them, despite knowing that they felt something deep for each other. What they had was too special to rush, and she didn’t want to rush anything with Daryl...he was too important. He was the only man she could sit in a comfortable silence with. They had always had a connection that kept them together, a certain kind of understanding that none of the others could ever come close to. Whatever this was between them was so much deeper than love, it was more than she’d ever felt for another human being before. Other than Sophia, she had never felt so desperately tethered by her emotions.

 

“Did the doctor tell you when he wanted to see me again?” she asked, trying to deflect the chaos inside her as she spoke. “I was so happy to be getting out of there, I was only half listening.”

 

Daryl smiled at the memory, and some of the anxiety started to melt away. He allowed himself to return to that place that had encaptured them before, placing them in their own sacred bubble that held nothing but the love that had always bloomed between them.

 

“Yeah,” he chuckled, turning his head to nuzzle his lips into her hair. “I think he noticed!”

 

“Yeah, well...I didn’t think I was going to be accosted in my hospital bed by an unwanted crush…” she scoffed. “I think he was just happy to see the back of me.”

 

“I think he was happy to see the back of both of us,” he chortled, his words disappearing into her soft strands. “After Tonia, he just kept apologising...it’s not like he knew she was gonna do somethin’ like that.”

 

They were silent for a long moment, both allowing their closeness to ease each other’s trepidations. Untangling their fingers, Daryl pulled his hand free to lift his arm up and over her shoulders, tugging her against his chest while he settled them both to rest against the cushions at the back of the sofa.

 

“Did she go back to Alexandria?” Carol asked on a sigh when she rubbed her cheek against the soft fabric covering his chest. “Tara deserves better than her.”

 

“Yeah, she does,” he nodded against her, her scent filling his senses. “When we see Rick, we’ll tell him what happened...no idea where Tonia went after...but, ya ain’t gotta worry about that right now.”

 

“Okay…”

 

Daryl’s fingertips traced soft circles over Carol’s shoulder and he felt her relax further into his chest. Having her here, so close to him...she was everything he wanted, and so much more. Back in the early days it had been her eyes that first drew him to her; their blueness piercing his defenses. After they lost Sophia, she had been his shadow...seeing things in him that he never saw in himself. She had drawn him out, turning to him for whatever comfort he could offer, but he’d been emotionally stumped then. He couldn’t even hold her, let alone anything else...but she’d pushed, and she just kept pushing, causing cracks to form in the walls he’d built up around himself over the years. She had been the only one to do that, no one else...and because of her, he’d become a better man. He’d become a son, a brother, a friend, all in such a short time, and it was all because of _her_...and he wondered if she’d realised just how much she’d meant to him back then.

 

“What are you thinking?” she asked him, her soft voice muffled by his chest as she buried her face into his warmth.

 

“Nothin’,” he mused, even though he couldn’t stop the small smile from lifting his lips. “Just thinkin’ of the prison.”

 

Nodding against him, Carol nuzzled his chest and lifted up a little to tuck her head beneath his chin. “I sometimes wish we were all back there, all of us...T Dog, Lori, Hershel, Glenn... _Beth_ …”

 

Daryl closed his eyes when she spoke Beth’s name with such uncertainty. Whatever her dead husband had instilled in her over the years was still buried so deeply that he couldn’t seem to break it. He loved her so much, more than he’d ever loved anyone before...but she couldn’t seem to let go of the notion that he’d shared more than he actually had with Maggie’s younger sister. Instead of answering her, he wrapped both of his arms around her and pulled her closer, hoping that one day he could erase every single doubt that Ed had planted within her.

 

“Things happen how they’re supposed to, I guess,” he told her softly, kissing her forehead. His eyes focused on the flickering flames of the candle beside them, its mesmerising dance highlighting Carol’s soft features. “No use thinkin’ of the past...we’re here, you and me, that’s all that matters now.”

 

“We finally get to start over,” she told him with a smile as she tried to stifle a yawn behind her hand. “Just the two of us…”

 

“Yep,” he grinned, tilting his head to brush his lips against her temple, loving the feel of her skin beneath his. “Tired?”

 

“Nope…” she yawned, tightening her hold on him before he could move her. “Not tired…”

 

Daryl’s chest rumbled with laughter when he ran his fingertips over her shoulders. He knew what she was doing, and he knew she had the same fears that he did. Were they going to share a bed? Was he going to make sure she was comfortable and then come to sleep out here? He had no idea how to do this, and just thinking about it caused his nervousness to flare once more.

 

Carol sighed as she slowly placed her palms on his chest and pushed herself upright to smile at him. His face was flushed and his eyes were watching her every movement, silently waiting for her to tell him what to do. She spread her fingertips wide, watching mesmerised when his eyes flared with a longing that she hadn’t seen before. She loved this man with every fibre of her being and she wanted nothing more than to show him exactly how much he mattered. She felt the sting on her stomach when she moved closer to him again, but she compensated by twisting her body a little to take the pressure off the wound.

 

“I’ve spent the last few days in a bed,” she whined, her lips turning upwards into a hopeful smile. “I don’t want to go back to one right now...please…”

 

Shaking his head incredulously, Daryl lifted his fingers to her face and brushed an errant strand of hair out of her eyes. He couldn’t help but return her smile, knowing that he could never deny her anything. Glancing beside him, he looked towards the empty half of the sofa and held onto her hand before he maneuvered himself towards the end, tugging her gently with him. He fully intended to let her stretch out and lay her head in his lap, something that wasn’t as intimate as sleeping together in a bed. When he settled onto the cushions he looked up at her expectantly, hoping she would know what he was asking. She didn’t want to be in a bed right now, but she needed to sleep and no matter how much she protested, he could already see the tiredness tugging at her eyes.

 

“C’mon,” he urged softly, guiding her closer as he kicked off his boots and stretched his feet out in front of him. He turned to Carol then, watching her frown turn into a smile, and before he could stop her, she was grabbing hold of his hands, pulling him forward only to maneuver him around until he was laying flat on the sofa.

 

“Shh,” she whispered, silencing her his protests, before she toed her own boots off and turned her body to kneel onto the sofa, all the while watching his reaction. She saw his eyes grow wide when she smiled uncertainly, allowing instinct to overtake her fears. Wordlessly she lowered her tired body, easing herself down until she was on her side, facing him. The wound on her stomach pinched a little as she found a comfortable position, but the warmth from his body soothed whatever ache accompanied the healing injury.

 

“Is this okay?” she asked him, somewhat belatedly, his silence unnerving her previous bravery.

 

At his nod, she settled against his chest, trying not to allow his sharp intake of breath to derail her boldness, when she slid her leg hesitantly in between both of his.

 

“Carol…”

 

“I promise I’m okay,” she whispered when her fingers began fiddling with the buttons on his shirt. “Can we just...stay here for a while?”

 

Daryl’s heart was hammering in his chest and he was sure she could hear it beneath her ear. He had no idea why she thought she had to ask his permission for anything, but instead of answering, he slipped his arm under her body and pulled her closer, hoping that this was answer enough.

 

“Y’okay?” he muttered into her hair, unable to stop himself from holding her tighter. The heat from her body seeped into his and he relished the feel of her pressed so intimately against him. She nodded, pressing even closer so that her forehead was nestled just below his chin. He’d kissed her...he’d said things to her that he’d never spoken aloud to any other woman, and the closer she relaxed against his side, the more he tried to control his treacherous body from reacting to her.

 

They laid in silence for a few moments, both of them reaching, stroking with soft fingertips in a soothing touch. Carol slid her thumb in between his shirt buttons and skimmed the tantalising skin beneath, until it wasn’t enough. Feeling a little braver, she flattened her fingers and slipped two of the digits into the gap between the buttons, stroking gentle circles into his chest hair. His heartbeat thrummed beneath her ear, the steady rhythm sending a feeling of calm right through her body.

 

“This is what I wanted when you found me here,” she whispered, the words slipping out before she could stop them. “I didn’t want you to go.”

 

Daryl slammed his eyes shut for a few moments before he opened them again and buried his lips into her hair. Once he’d seen her again...once he’d held her so close, he hadn’t wanted to leave her again. “I didn’t want to go either…”

 

“If I’d have asked you to stay…” lifting her head, her warm breath fanned his skin when her lips grazed the underside of his chin. She tilted her face up so that she could see his face, not realising that she was holding her breath until he inclined his head to look down at her.

 

His eyes found hers, seeking out the honesty that shone so brightly from her deep blue orbs. Yes he would have stayed. He would have lost himself in her and kept by her side for as long as he could, before loyalty to Rick had torn him from her. Shifting a little more onto his side, he took her with him, turning her body until they were lying face to face. His anxieties seemed to melt away with every passing second. Her soft, stroking fingers were soothing and arousing at the same time, and before he could rethink it, he was dipping even lower to press his mouth against hers.

 

This was their first kiss since leaving the kingdom, and it held none of the heated desperation that the others had. There was nothing hurried or desperate about them this time...instead, when his lips slanted over hers and she opened her mouth beneath his, everything from their previous kisses held no comparison to this. Sinking into her, he increased the pressure just a little, gliding his tongue over hers.

 

Carol was lost in him, her body giving way to sensations that she’d only ever read about. His kisses were intoxicating, causing her to tremble. She couldn’t seem to keep still, needing to feel him as each kiss slowed to an end, only to begin again a few seconds later. Soft groans mewled from her and it took her a few moments to realise that those sounds were actually coming from her. She had never felt like this before...she’d never been kissed like this...and she couldn’t seem to get enough.

 

One of her hands roamed the buttons on his shirt, slipping probing fingers between the buttons as she sought out the heated flesh beneath. She could feel his heart pounding beneath her palm and then every ounce of fear just melted away. He was kissing her in a way that outweighed any of their previous ones, and she allowed herself to be lost in him and the sensations he was evoking inside her.

 

Pulling his mouth from hers, Daryl panted heavily, trying to catch his breath. Smiling down at her, his gaze lingered over her kiss swollen lips, causing pride to bloom inside him when he saw what he’d done to her. Lowering his head, he nestled his face against her shoulder before panting heavily over her throat. He grinned against her when her hands caressed his back and shoulders, drawing lazy circles over the soft material hiding his bare skin.

 

“Mmm…” she mumbled happily, closing her eyes in utter contentment. “I would never have let you go if you’d kissed me like that…”

 

“Never coulda gone if I had,” he chuckled, pressing his lips against the base of her throat, feeling her pulse thumping beneath.

 

“We’re here now,” she sighed, smiling as her hands roamed his shoulders. “I wasn’t in a good place back then...I wasn’t ready for anything…”

 

Daryl closed his eyes when the memories of her loss washed over him. He’d wanted to rip Tobin’s head right off when Rick had told him about Carol leaving...but as time wore on and Negan came to wreak havoc amongst them, he’d been grateful that she wasn’t there to witness it all.

 

“I knew ya weren’t right,” he told her softly, his lips grazing the base of her throat. “I shoulda…”

 

“No,” she told him, her voice cutting through his words before he could finish. “I had to deal with things myself...I couldn’t drag you down with me. I couldn’t do that to you.”

 

Daryl kissed her throat before he lifted himself up on his elbows so that he could look down at her. His eyes found hers, swimming with the unmistakable sheen of tears. He worshipped this woman...she was everything to him, and if he could erase whatever pain had inflicted her, then he would do it in a heartbeat.

 

“I woulda gone with ya,” his gravelled voice rumbled through his lips as he spoke. “Weren’t nothin’ for me back home without you there.”

 

“I missed you so much,” she whispered, the soft admission causing tears to well in her eyes. “When we got to Alexandria...I lost you...and I just didn’t know...how to get you back…”

 

“I wasn’t gone…”

 

“Not physically,” she sniffed, her fingers coming up to stroke his stubbled cheek. “But emotionally, you were gone...and I couldn’t…”

 

When her voice gave way to tears, Daryl gathered her up against him, wrapping her in his arms. Closing his eyes, he held on tight, planting soothing kisses into her hair until she stopped shaking. He was an asshole...he’d been so wrapped up in his own depression at losing so many of their loved ones, that he’d unknowingly pushed her away.

 

“‘M sorry,” he whispered over and over, punctuating each apology with soft kisses. “‘M sorry.”

 

“Not your fault…” she sniffed, tightening her hold around him. “I knew you were grieving...and I tried to give you space, but...then...I…knew I...I couldn’t...give you anything...”

 

“Hey…” lifting his head, he leaned over to press his lips against her temple, kissing away the tears. “Whatever ya thought...yer more than I deserve...yer everythin’...”

 

His words brought fresh tears to fill her eyes, and he watched mesmerised when they tumbled over her cheeks. He didn’t know what happened between when Rick left her, to when he found her again after Terminus, but whatever it was, he knew she hadn’t dealt with any of it. This woman buried pain like it was a fine art, but he needed her to know that she didn’t need to do it alone anymore.

 

“I’m here,” he told her through nuzzling kisses. “Ain’t gonna let ya do it all alone no more...ya can tell me anythin’...”

 

Her arms wound around him even tighter, pulling him down against her until their bodies were practically molded together.

 

“Not yet,” she whispered against his ear, tiny sobs making her voice shake. Moving her hands to his hair, she threaded her fingers through his shaggy strands and lifted his head to yank his mouth down to hers, losing herself in him and his kiss.

 

TBC


	2. Chapter 2

It was still dark when Carol slowly started to wake. She was incredibly warm, cocooned and secured in a comforting embrace, and she didn’t want to move. Opening her eyes, she blinked at the strip of early morning light that left a long beam over the far wall, and for a moment she fought to remember where she was. The memories from the previous night seeped into her mind, their powerful display creating images that brought a surge of love along with them. She was safe, and with a man she completely adored...and there was nothing that she wanted more in this new world.

Daryl was sound asleep behind her, his body molded to hers. Sometime during the night they had turned in their sleep, both of them on their sides, nestled together. Daryl’s arm was draped across her waist, possessively securing her against him. Smiling, she traced his arm with her fingertips and moved to cover his hand with her own. He stretched behind her and tugged her in tighter, spreading his fingers wide so that her own could slip in between his to thread them together.

“Mmm…” he mumbled, his gravelled greeting disappearing into her hair. “S’it mornin’?”

Carol’s heart sped up when his warm breath puffed against the back of her neck. She had never felt so elated, not since she had held her baby girl for the very first time. Somehow she felt a little lighter upon waking, and she knew it was all because of this beautiful man pressed so close behind her.

“Hmm,” she mewled, stretching against him before squeezing their joined fingers. “At least...I think it’s morning.”

“‘K…” he sighed lazily. “Not like it matters anymore.”

Carol smiled blissfully when he didn’t seem to have any intentions of moving. She had been sure that he’d make some excuse when he realised how close they were...but as the seconds ticked by, it became apparent that he was content to stay entangled with her on the sofa that had become their bed for the night. Even in his sleep he had still been mindful of the injury she still carried, carefully avoiding resting his hand over the healing wound. She loved this man... hopelessly, completely, loved him. Something seemed to awaken in her when he’d taken care of her at the kingdom...something that she’d tried to push away for such a long time. Now, she found herself biting her tongue and clamping down on the words that ached to be free. She was pretty sure he loved her too, almost definitely sure in fact...but actually saying the words aloud might be all too much right now. She didn’t want to risk too much too soon, and for now she was content to have him here, loving him, showing him instead of saying the words.

“I don’t think I woke up all night,” she mused, completely surprised that she couldn’t remember having one single nightmare while he slept with her.

“Me neither,” he yawned, nuzzling his nose against the base of her neck before placing a kiss onto the skin he found there. “Not once.”

“That’s good right?” she grinned as she untangled their fingers, maneuvering herself around to face him. Meeting his gaze, she smiled warmly when she lifted her hand to cradle his cheek against her palm, stroking his skin with her thumb. “Both of us, sleeping without the bad dreams…”

“S’real good,” he told her, his lips lifting into a sleepy smile. He relished the feel of her so close to him, and he suddenly realised that all of those nerves he’d had from the previous night, had all but melted away. Bringing his own hand up to cover hers on his cheek, he held it there as he turned his head to press his lips into her palm, all the while watching her eyes.

“Daryl…” she gasped out, unprepared for the sensations when that one simple kiss sent a pulse of heat straight through the centre of her body.

Holding onto her hand, Daryl lowered it to his chest and dipped his head closer to press his lips against hers. The touch was soft and light, holding none of the passion from their previous kisses, but it was full of love nonetheless. When he pulled away a few moments later, they laid together, bodies entwined and basking in the intimacy that they’d found with one another.

“I like waking up like this,” she told him, her voice no more than a whisper. “Just the two of us…”

“Mm...s’nice…” he nodded, nudging his nose against hers. “Feels right.”

Smiling up at him, Carol leaned in closer and found his lips once more, pressing them together in another soft kiss. It felt so good to be this close to him, without being bound by duties to the rest of their family. She didn’t have to slip away to prepare a meal, or gather laundry, or babysit...this time it was just him and her...laying like this, pressed together, finally allowing themselves to explore whatever this was that had been growing between them for so long.

“I never thought I’d ever feel happy again,” she told him softly as she skimmed her fingertips across his bearded chin. “I never thought I deserved it.”

“Ya deserve it... after everythin’ ya been through,” he told her, edging closer to her lips again, hovering close until their breaths mingled together. “We both do.”

“It’s our time…” her lips grazed his as she spoke, delighting in the feelings he evoked inside her. “We’ve earned it…”

Daryl nodded slightly before he closed the small gap between them to cover her mouth with his own, gliding his tongue across her bottom lip. She whimpered when he deepened the kiss, his increased pressure sending tingles right through her body. She couldn’t seem to keep still, unable to stop herself from reacting to his touch. She pulled him closer, kissing him with a blinding passion that surged through her whenever she was close to him. She slid her arms around him; possessive fingers threading into his hair. She heard his soft groan when she bumped her tongue against his, and something inside her seemed to break free.

Ignoring the sting of her wound, Carol slowly eased them around until she was on her back, without breaking their kiss. She could feel him slowing down, sliding his tongue over hers one more time before he pulled his mouth from hers, panting heavily. He gazed down at her in complete awe, his searching eyes looking for any signs of discomfort.

“I’m okay,” she told him, her voice no more than a whisper as she shifted her lower body so that he was cradled in between her thighs. “I want to be with you...I want you... _us_ …please...”

“I don’t wanna hurt ya,” he gasped out, his eyes slamming shut when she raised her hips to brush against his groin. He was trying desperately to keep his body still, but the heat from her was driving his senses into overdrive. Opening his eyes, he looked down at her, seeing worry etched in hers, and he suddenly realised that his hesitation was causing her to doubt if he really wanted to be with her.

Carol stilled beneath him, the uncertainty pulling at her when she worried that she may have pushed him too far. Holding her breath, her thoughts collided as she fought to figure out a way to salvage this now. Would her actions make him run? She was so foolish to think he was going to be okay with this...he would leave and she’d be alone again...and she…

His mouth on hers suddenly drowned out those thoughts, leaving her gasping in a breath when he sank further into her. A soft groan escaped when he brushed his tongue across hers and every single thought about pushing him too far, scattered away. She shuddered against him when his hand began to move; his seeking fingertips skimming over her t shirt to brush against her breast. She was so lost in the sensations that he was evoking inside her that she desperately tried to thrust her covered breast further into his palm, needing him to sooth the ache he had created there.

Pulling his lips from hers, Daryl began a slow, tantalizing trek, trailing a path of burning kisses over her cheek, then across her chin before traveling down her throat. His tongue carved a wet path over her heated flesh, pressing open mouthed kisses over every part of skin he could find. He hovered over her throat, licking and kissing over her throbbing pulse point, then lower still, until he came to the neck of her shirt. Reluctantly, he stilled, kissing the skin beneath his lips one last time, before he pulled his mouth from her throat. Lifting himself up onto his elbows, he searched her eyes, looking for any sign that she wasn’t ready for wherever this was heading. 

Wordlessly, Carol reached down between them, her fingers curling around the hem of her t shirt and started to pull it up. Her eyes burned with need when he palmed her breast, his thumb stroking across the taut fabric. She was lost in his touch, gasping and panting when he circled her nipple, and she tugged harder. She needed to feel his hands on her...his hot breath...his tongue… She was so caught up in passion that she yanked the hem of her shirt across her bandage, gasping in a breath when a sting of pain caused her to stop. Clamping her eyes closed, she waited until the throbbing had started to subside before she opened her eyes again, ready to resume, but Daryl’s passion had suddenly turned to concern.

“I’m fine,” she told him in a whisper, trying to reassure him as she reached for him. “Please...I’m…”

“Yer not,” his voice was soft as he spoke, his gaze locked on hers. Lifting himself upwards, he offered her a lopsided grin when she growled in frustration.

“ _Don’t go_ …” she gasped out, grasping at his retreating body and cursing her own for betraying her at the same time. Disappointment fuelled her, bringing a sheen of tears through to her eyes and all she wanted to do was pull him back down to her, wounds be damned.

“‘M not goin’ anywhere,” he whispered, his husky voice sending shivers through her body when he stood up and held out his hand.

Carol tried not to focus on the tent forming in his pants, and resisted the urge to rub her hand over his protruding hardness. Her gaze drifted up to his eyes and was suddenly taken aback by the love she saw burning there. Swallowing heavily, she tried to ignore the nerves that seemed to have returned when he grasped hold of her fingers and brought her up onto her knees.

“Daryl…” she whispered, hoping he couldn’t hear the slight tremble in her voice. She loved him so much, but she wasn’t good at this. What if he realised she wasn’t good enough? He was going to see the scars that Ed had left there...she wouldn’t be able to hide them from him anymore...what if they were too much for him to look at? His gentle tug on her hand brought her out of her fearful reverie. He was watching her with nothing but pure adoration in his eyes, and she forced those thoughts away from her mind. Ed could go to hell and stay there...he’d marked her body but he’d never had her heart...and he had no place in this life she wanted to make with Daryl.

Daryl turned his body and returned to the sofa, lowering himself down to sit back against the cushions. He tugged on her hand, pulling her closer until she closed the gap between them, waiting for him to move. Realising what he wanted, Carol nodded and lifted herself up and over him, straddling his thighs, her bended knees tucked securely on either side. For a moment they watched each other, neither quite believing that this was really happening. This should have happened when they were both here alone before. She wished she would have made him see how much she needed him to stay...she should have done a lot of things...

His eyes dropped down to their joined hands and he opened his mouth to tell her that he’d never wanted to leave her, but she surged forward to kiss him before he could speak. She held him there, trapped beneath her mouth in a heated kiss that left him groaning beneath her. When she slowly pulled away, she moved back just enough to see his eyes darken with desire when she hovered over his lips.

"I should have asked you to stay," she whispered, her lips grazing his again as she struggled to resist the magnetic pull that was luring her back to him. Swallowing hard, she focused on his lips before she lifted her eyes back to his again, and she suddenly felt every single one of her doubts fall away. "If it was your choice…would you have left?"

"No…" he breathed, his lips touching hers again only to pull back just as quickly. "No…"

Carol was finding it hard to concentrate with all of the emotions this man evoked inside her. The love in his eyes unravelled her and she knew that after everything, this is where she wanted to be... with him.

Moving closer she rested her hands against his shoulders and placed a delicate kiss over first one eye and then the other, before she kissed her way over his temple, his cheek and then finally, his lips. She kissed him lightly at first, only to pull back again, searching his eyes. Everything she'd longed to see in him was there, shining right back at her. Dipping her head, she pressed her lips to his once more, lingering there for a few seconds before she sank into him, both of them deepening the kiss. Tongues met, brushing together as they tugged each other closer. Carol’s arms wound around him, her fingers threading through his hair possessively as they adored each other with every kiss.

They pressed closer together; both of them giving in to the magnetic pull that had kept them anchored together since the quarry. His arms snaked under her, closing around her shoulder blades and pulling her closer to him as he slanted his mouth over hers, deepening the kiss even more. His tongue bumped against hers hungrily, the contact sending a shiver down his spine as his heart hammered inside his chest.

He threaded one of his hands through her hair and clasped her to him, keeping her body tight against him. She made a soft whimpering sound in response, her tongue tracing his lower lip before she pulled away from him, breathing heavy, her eyes cloudy with passion.

Within seconds their lips met again, his mouth capturing hers in a growl of desire that set her very soul on fire. Snatching her mouth from his she sucked in a breath before she began kissing a trail down his jaw, and all the way down his throat, revelling in the soft groans he was making. Slipping her fingers from his hair, she let her exploring hands stroke a path across his chest until they hovered over the buttons of his shirt, popping them open one by one while she distracted him with open mouthed kisses.

"Carol…" he groaned; his voice stuttered and gasping. "I—"

"Shhhhh," she whispered as her lips continued their journey when she sensuously worked her way back to his jaw…his cheek, until she reached his ear to place soft seductive kisses over his ear lobe, instantly feeling him shiver when she sucked the fleshy lobe into her mouth.

Daryl mewled when her mouth left his ear to trail her lips down his throat, before she pulled away so that she could look down into his eyes. Untangling his fingers from her hair, he lowered his hands, skimming around her body to her breasts, he covered the soft mounds, stroking his thumbs across her nipples that peaked beneath the fabric. He watched, mesmerised when her eyes slipped closed and her mouth dropped open, lost in the sensations he was instilling in her body. Needing to feel more, he dipped one hand lower to lift her shirt, stroking the soft skin of her abdomen as he journeyed under the constricting fabric. He was driven by the noises she was making when he touched her, delighting in the gasps and growls that came out of her delicate mouth. Confidence spurred him onwards and he slipped his other hand under her shirt, to join its twin in squeezing her breasts before palming her puckering nipples.

Carol threw her head back and clamped her thighs tighter around him. She couldn’t contain the surge of heat that coiled around inside her, forcing her to grind herself against his hardening shaft. She was lost in him and the pure ecstasy he was creating… she had never felt like this before...never felt the coiling orgasm building with anyone’s touch but her own. Reaching behind her she pushed at her shirt and unclipped her bra, letting the fabric fall slack beneath her shirt. Within seconds his hands surged beneath the silk, pushing it up and away from her breasts as he kneaded the tantalizing flesh beneath.

Carol’s eyes slowly opened and she looked down at him in a lustful haze. She ground against him as he massaged her breasts, caught between ecstasy and her need to kiss him. They held each other’s gaze, dark desire flaring when one of his hands left her breast to stroke a path down her ribs, then lower still, tracing around the gauze bandage until his fingertips bumped against the waistband of her pants. He matched her gaze as he popped the button, and eased the zipper lower before he brushed his thumb over the silken material, watching the heat flare in her eyes when slipped his fingers inside the flimsy panties. Carol shuddered against him when his thumb dipped into her molten core, already slick when he rubbed against the hardened nub. She lifted a little higher for him, giving him more room so that he could turn his hand and cup her, squeezing against the wetness he found there.

Carol was lost, caught between gasps and groans, and losing every single one of her inhibitions. It had never been like this before, never...she hadn’t felt anything so intoxicating and lustful, driving her insane with need. His other hand was still beneath her shirt, tweaking her nipple while his other rubbed frantically against her clit. Her breath came out in panting gasps, as her body trembled with coiling heat. She was barely holding on, her mind caught up in the exquisite pleasure that was pulsing through her. She drew in a breath, readying herself for the surging heat, but when he delved lower and slid two fingers into her slick core, her whole world exploded into blinding light that throbbed all the way through her body. She came apart, thrusting against his hand, panting and whimpering as he continued his erotic onslaught even as she pulsated around his fingers. He rode out her orgasm, only slowing his movements when she stopped thrusting against him to lean forward to rest her forehead against his. Her breath fanned his face, matching the thundering heartbeat that she was sure he could hear. When he withdrew his hand and pulled out of her, she opened her eyes and gazed into his. He was watching her with something akin to wonderment, and she just couldn’t seem to get enough.

Without warning, she covered his mouth with her own, thrusting her tongue against his as she kissed him with everything she had. She ached for him, even now. She wanted him to feel everything...she wanted to give him the love he’d shown her and shower him with it, leaving him with no doubts that the two of them were always destined to be together. Pulling her mouth from his, she looked down at him, watching in adoration as his eyes slowly opened. The smile they shared was full of love that drew them together for a succession of tiny kisses, until Carol shifted backwards on his thighs, instantly missing the heat from his hand when it fell from her breast. Lust fuelled her when she crossed her arms downwards to grab hold of the hem of her t shirt, pulling it up and over her head in one swift movement to throw the fabric onto the floor...her bra following it seconds later.

Their eyes met and held as he moved his hands over her bare breasts, his palms kneading the subtle flesh. She caught his open shirt with her fingertips to push the material away from his body and over his arms, granting him a rewarding kiss when his hands left her chest to help her free himself of it.

She gasped when Daryl surged forward, his mouth deliciously attacking her throat in a string of kisses that left her breathless and completely yielding to his touch. His breath warmed her skin as he whispered a mantra of words that she couldn’t quite hear. Her fingers fumbled blindly as she pulled his head away from her throat to mesh her mouth against his, locking them in an earth-shattering kiss before moving her hands between their molten bodies to pop open the button of his pants.

His mouth left hers with a gasp when he felt her hand move lower, his muttered words of passion only encouraging her further. He gazed at her in total submission, while he helped to guide her hands, pushing his pants down enough to free his straining erection. The cool air hit his shaft and he sucked in a breath, slamming his eyes shut when her hand curled around him. She watched his face contort when she ran her thumb across his tip, eliciting a soft groan from his lips. He thrust into her hand, gasping out a string of words that didn’t make any sense, until he suddenly opened his eyes and pulled her hand from his engorged flesh.

“Won’t last…” he groaned, an apologetic smile gracing his lips. “‘F’ya keep doin’ that.”

Carol grinned knowingly and leaned down to kiss him, slowing down the passion just enough for her to lift her body to push her pants and underwear over her hips. Breaking the kiss she climbed off of his lap and eased the material over her thighs, until the pants pooled around her ankles. She kept her gaze focused on him as she stepped out of them to stand naked before him, waiting for him to fully see her before they took the inevitable next step.

Whatever she was expecting, she was unprepared for his appreciative gaze. His eyes wandered over her body, taking in every curve and scar, making her tremble with need. When his gaze returned to her eyes, he held out his hand to her, clasping hold of her fingers and tugging her towards him.

"Daryl…" she groaned as she climbed back onto his thighs, her body already tingling with anticipation. His hands glided down her sides to grasp her hips, lifting her so that she could easily welcome him into her body. Their eyes met and held, a silent understanding filtering between them when his shaft nudged tantalizingly against her opening. She lowered herself onto him, her breath hitching when he eased into her, inch by inch, until he filled her completely.

Their lips touched again, synchronising with their agonizingly slow movements when their hips came together. Carol lifted herself up and came back down to meet his thrust, the movements sending a wave of pleasure through her core. She couldn’t ever remember feeling so full, or so damn erotic. These sensations were all new and powerful, sweeping away the painful memories of what sex had meant to her before this. Daryl’s lips left hers to trail down her throat, travelling lower until he was kissing the space between her neck and shoulder. Spreading his fingertips wide, he moved to clasp her breasts again, kneading and circling her nipples at the same time. Carol threw her head back while she met his thrusts, pushing her breasts further into his hands. She almost unravelled right in that moment when Daryl dipped his head, sucking one rosy nipple into his mouth, suckling on the hardened bud before releasing it to move across to her other breast. Carol was shaking, lost in his love as she hissed in pleasure, along with the muttered groans and whimpered words that followed as they moved as one.

This had been building between them for so many years, their love hidden away while they recovered from the fallout of the prison, and death…but this time was theirs now, their own piece of a sanctuary that had been denied to them for so long.

The past melted away, all of it forgotten when they continued to move together, taking each other to the brink of completion, words of love on their lips. Carol could feel herself spiralling out of control when the surge of heat started to build in her core. Her mouth dropped open when the coiling spasms thrummed through her, causing her to cry out, whimpering his name when he growled out a string of words. He pulled her with him, toppling them over the edge of oblivion when his seed spurted into her body. He wrapped his arms around her waist holding on tight as he lost control, surging and groaning, her name spilling from his lips.

Daryl leaned into her body holding onto her until the shaking began to subside. His heart ached with love for her and he knew that his feelings for her had never faded away, no matter how many times he had tried to deny them. Floating back into awareness, he heard her whisper his name and he instinctively tugged her closer, delighting in the sweet sensations of her warm naked body leaning into his, slick and sated.

"Daryl," she breathed into his neck, her lips caressing him as she began kissing the soft flesh until her heart began to return to some kind of normality. She loved him completely, even moreso now that he had shown her in so many ways, that he loved and needed her just as much. Words of love simmered on her tongue, but she knew there wasn't anything she could possibly say that could match how she felt.

"I know," he told her softly, tilting her head so he could see her eyes. They locked together, willingly letting themselves sink deeper into one another's gaze, in the wake of passion that had just passed between them.

Lifting her carefully, he had intended to release her but neither could seem to draw away from the other, their bodies still reacting to each other even now. Trailing his fingers across her face, he marvelled at the depths of feelings that roared through him. He couldn’t get enough of her as he dipped his head, pressing his lips along her jaw. He trailed soft kisses over her skin, mindful to kiss every inch of her face, carefully avoiding her chasing mouth. Finally he succumbed to her, catching her lips again in a tender kiss that left neither of them in any doubts of their love for each other.

Carol fell into him with total abandonment, willingly letting him control her senses as he loved her, showing her with his touch that she was his. She had missed him when Rick had exiled her, and then again, when she chose to leave him behind in Alexandria…she had ached for him in a way she had never felt before.

After what seemed like hours they finally untangled themselves from each other, both reluctant to let go and lose precious contact. Carol lifted herself off of him, standing on shaky legs as she held out her hand, pulling him up to stand beside her. He drew his jeans back up his thighs and over his hips, but left them hanging open before he reached for her.

"Y’okay?" he asked softly, his lips trailing gentle kisses down her cheek when he clutched her hand tightly in his.

"You have to ask?" she grinned, releasing his hand to loop her arms up and around his neck as she languishly stretched her body into his. They pressed together again, lingering in their intimate embrace, both reluctant to part even for a moment.

"We should get cleaned up," he sighed, his mouth groaning into her neck, willing himself to draw away from her warmth, but he was finding it increasingly difficult to move away.

"Just a little longer," she smiled as she spread her fingers to comb sensuously through his hair. "I want to stay with you."

"You are with me," he chuckled, lifting his head to look into her eyes. He was lost the second their eyes locked, drowning in the depth of love in her gaze. She filled his heart with so many emotions, he didn't think he would ever comprehend how he had become so lucky to have her in his life.

"Ya know I love ya, right?" he spoke before he could stop himself, surprised by how easily the words slipped from his lips.

The smile that graced her face almost shattered his heart, opening him up to every emotion... taking everything that she offered him with open arms and an open heart.

Wordlessly she took a step backwards, for once unashamed by her nakedness. Tugging on his hand, she tugged him towards the bedroom. Her sultry smile spurred his movements, and he found himself following willingly behind her, drinking in every one of her curves. He could already feel himself reacting to her and the anticipation of what was to come. He felt his dick twitch the second they made it to the bed, sparking another surge of passion within him. When she tugged him down onto the bed beside her he didn't hesitate, unable to deny her anything when she took control of his body and his heart…luring him into her loving depths once more…

 

000

 

The first thing Daryl became aware of was how incredibly warm he felt. For a few seconds he thought he'd woken up from a wonderful dream in which the warmth still embraced him, but slowly as he opened his eyes, he remembered where he was and whom he was with. Shifting slightly, he looked down over the woman who was still asleep beside him. They had shifted in their sleep so that they were both on their sides and he had both of his arms wrapped possessively around her while his legs spooned against hers.

A feeling of contentment washed over him and he suddenly couldn't remember anything that had felt so wonderful in his life whole life. Breathing deeply, her scent filled his senses, causing him to possessively pull her closer to his body. Time had seemed to stop, enclosing them into a world of their own where nothing else existed but them. He knew that nothing would compare to the feeling of having her in his arms, safe and warm where nothing or no one could hurt her.

Carol moved in her sleep and drew in a deep breath. Her arm slid over the warm body behind her, seeking his presence as she shuffled in closer. She mumbled something as she started to wake and pushed herself further back into his body. Slowly, as she opened her eyes, thoughts of their union started to seep back into her consciousness and her hand covered his, threading their fingers together.

"Mmm…" he mumbled as he burrowed in closer to press his cheek against her hair. "We fell asleep."

Taking a deep breath, Carol turned in his arms to face him. Blinking the tiredness from her eyes she stretched against him before she snuggled into his chest.

"We did," she hummed, a soft chuckle escaping her lips when she pressed a kiss against his throat. "You're good for me…"

Her words caused his chest to rumble when he laughed, a sound that hadn't been heard from him for a very long time. He couldn't believe how this woman had managed to erase all of the pain of the last few months, making the memory of their separation fade away. She shifted against him again and lifted her head so that she could see his face, gracing him with a bright smile.

Lifting a hand, he traced the outline of her face and leaned forward to press a light kiss on her forehead before he relaxed back against the pillows to take him with her. He closed his eyes and smiled when she burrowed against him, the warmth from her body filling him with nothing but an intense feeling of contentment. Lying there with her in their bed, the outside world faded away and right at that moment he knew he would give everything up if they could just stay like this forever.

"We should really get up," she sighed, but even though she had spoken the words, she didn't really mean them. She didn't want to ever leave the security of his arms, especially now she knew how loving someone should feel.

"Hmm...not yet," he told her with a sigh, his arms tightening around her. "S’no rush."

"Hmm…I like this…" she grinned happily. "I thought I would have lost you to the woods by now."

“Nope," he chuckled softly as he loosened his arms so that he could look down into her eyes. "Just want this…you and me…just us…"

“Just us…” she smiled, closing her eyes and snuggling back into his chest to hug him tighter. “I like the sound of that…”

 

TBC


	3. Chapter 3

The two of them had settled into an easy routine over the next few days; neither of them leaving the sanctuary of their little house since Daryl had slid those bolts across the door. They had used up most of their provisions that they’d brought with them from the kingdom, and Daryl knew he would have to go out and hunt fairly soon. The fruit and the cobbler that Jerry had thrust upon them, would only last for maybe another day...and as much as he was settled and content to be in this house with the woman he loved, Daryl was beginning to miss being outside.

 

Standing beside the window, he peered through the net curtains and drew in a deep breath. The sun was shining and the trees in the distance were blowing in the breeze. Daryl could almost feel the wind on his skin as his mind wandered. Maybe he would go out today and place the traps...maybe bag a few squirrels too. He was fine and all with the fruit they’d had, but he craved the warmth of one of Carol’s stews. That woman knew how to make any meat he brought back, taste good. It was one of those comforting things about her that stayed with him on those long weeks of separation. He’d missed her so much. He just wished that it hadn’t taken him so long to find the courage to finally act on those feelings...but they were together now.

 

Carol emerged from the bedroom, dressed in her familiar combats and the white button down vest that he liked so much. She smiled when she saw him, instantly relieved that he was still here. When she had awoken a few minutes ago, he wasn’t asleep beside her like he usually was. The bed was cold where he’d vacated it some time before, and she couldn’t seem to trample down the worry when he wasn’t there. She’d hurriedly pulled on her clothes, not caring that the top was crumpled from a night on the floor. All of her focus had been on her absent lover.

 

Daryl was so lost in his musings that he didn’t hear the soft footfalls of the woman in question move up behind him. He startled for a second when her arms closed arms around him, hugging him from behind. She molded herself against him, her heat seeping into his body and warming every part of him.

 

“Why didn’t you wake me?” she asked softly, her voice muffled against his shirt when she nuzzled kisses in between his shoulder blades.

 

Daryl leaned into her, unable to stop the smile that lifted his lips. He had never felt so happy or content in his life. Feeling this way was almost foreign to him at first, but now, he didn’t think he would ever be able to live without it, or her. Bringing his arms up to cover hers around his waist, he skimmed his fingertips over hers before threading them together.

 

“Didn’t want ta wake ya,” he told her with a contented sigh. “We didn’t get much sleep last night.”

 

“Hmm…” she chuckled, her soft rumble sending vibrations through his body. “And whose fault is that!”

 

“Hey, I was gonna sleep…” he grinned, his indignant voice losing all of its teasing tone when she squeezed him tighter. “Yer the one who _jumped_ me!”

 

“I _did_ not!” she scoffed, punctuating her words with a light kiss to the skin behind his ear. “You can’t blame me for the second time…”

 

“Hmm…” he grinned, unconsciously swaying with her as they lost themselves in the blissful feeling of just being together. “What about the third?”

 

“Oh…” her soft laughter had him unclasping their fingers and turning around in her embrace. He wrapped his arms around her, tightening his hold as he tugged her in closer.

 

“Oh?” he grinned, lowering his forehead to hers. “That’s all ya can say?”

 

Carol smiled beautifully, lifting her eyes to peer up at him. “Okay, I admit, _that_ one was me...but it was mostly _your_ fault!”

 

A surge of adoration soared through him, and before he could stop himself he pulled his forehead from hers only to place a kiss there instead. The heat from her skin warmed his lips, bringing a spark of desire along with it. He couldn’t seem to stop touching her; as if any kind of distance spent away from her would cause him physical pain. If being in love felt this way, then he now understood why all of those sappy love songs were so popular. He felt drunk and high at the same time, and so deliriously happy that he could almost hear Merle scoffing at him from beyond the grave. Just seeing her sent his heart hammering, and he couldn’t even begin to explain the uncontrollable tingling that overtook his body when she was close by….and the sex...that was something else...he never thought it could feel that way...never.

 

“Pfft…” he scoffed. “Keep telling’ yerself that!”

 

Carol grinned up at him. She felt so euphoric. This man brought things out in her that she didn’t even think she could feel anymore. He’d shone his light in all of those dark places within her, relighting the spark she thought she had lost. She had never been in love, really in love, before Daryl...and every single day he’d managed to ease her pain, little by little...and so many times she had almost told him about the girls, but fear of losing him caused her to clamp down on the words.

 

A sudden noise from outside drew them apart. Carol moved out of his embrace and moved towards the window, her sharp eyes watching for the intruder who had set off her wires. Standing by her side, Daryl placed his hand on her shoulder, his eyes as alert as hers. Glancing down at his bow, he watched for any signs of movement from outside, but before he could even suggest that he go and take a look around, Carol’s knife was in her hand.

 

“What?” He asked worriedly, peering through the window, trying to see what she had seen.

 

“There’s someone out there,” she told him, nodding towards the tree line just a short distance from the house.

 

“I’mma gonna take a look,” he nodded, bending to grasp hold of his bow. “Stay inside and lock the door behind me.”

 

“Daryl…”

 

“I know ya can take care a yerself,” he told her, his voice cutting through her indignant protests. “But yer still healin’…”

 

“If you’re going out there, I’m going with you,” she told him adamantly, ignoring the blooming scowl that was forming above his eyes. “And don’t think just because I love you, I’m going to let you lock me away for my own protection.”

 

Daryl’s eyes grew wide and the scowl melted away. Whatever he was going to say suddenly scattered in his mind, and he couldn’t seem to process anything other than the words she’d spoken. She’d told him she loved him...just like that, as if they spoke those words aloud every single day. He never expected to hear those words from anyone, not even her...no one had ever directed them at him. So he stood there, his mouth opening and closing, struck dumb by the power her love evoked within him.

 

Carol watched him for a moment. She hadn’t intended to tell him that way. Out of all the different scenarios she’d predicted in her mind, blurting them out in irritation wasn’t one of them. Her face softened and for a tiny second she forgot the possible danger that lurked outside. Stepping closer, she lifted her hand to frame his face and stroked his cheek with her thumb.

 

“I love you,” she told him again, saying the words in a softer tone, in a way that they should have been spoken. “I always have.”

 

Daryl opened his mouth to tell her that he loved her too, but before he could speak, a loud knock on their door startled them from their tender moment. Dropping her hand, Carol nodded at his unspoken words and stepped aside, her fingers wrapped around her knife. Daryl lifted his bow, aiming it at the closed door as he nodded slightly, ready to take down any unwelcome threat who dared to destroy their peace. Stepping forward, Carol slid the bolts across the door, their loud clunk slow and agonising, before she yanked the door open, allowing Daryl to step forward.

 

Rick’s smile dropped from his lips when he came face to face with the tip of an arrow pointed right at him. He met Carol’s bright eyes questioningly before Daryl slowly lowered his bow.

 

“Hey,” Rick greeted cautiously, hoping that his past mistakes weren’t coming back to haunt him now.

 

“Rick,” Daryl seemed to come out of his stance and lowered his bow. He reached out towards his friend, clasping a hand over his shoulder to guide him inside. “What the hell’re ya doin’ sneakin’ around out there?”

 

“I wasn’t sneaking around,” Rick chuckled. “I was trying to follow Jerry’s directions to this place. It’s pretty hard to find.”

 

“That’s why I picked it,” Carol told him with a cautious smile, still unsure how she felt about having Rick here in their home. “It’s secluded.”

 

Moving further into the house, Rick reached out to pull Carol into a loose hug, careful not to squeeze her too tightly. Their last conversation still weighed heavily on his mind, and he couldn’t leave things as they were. When he’d returned to Alexandria amidst questions about Carol, he knew he had to try and put things right between them. Between the governor, terminus and the war, he’d almost been able to forget what he’d done to her on the side of the road. As time wore on and neither of them mentioned it again, he started to become complacent and the memories of his mistakes began to fade...he hadn’t realised that Carol still held onto them after all this time. He had to try and make amends some how, for all of their sakes.

 

“What are you doing here?” Carol asked him when he released her, smiling warmly despite her warring emotions. “You only went back to Alexandria a few days ago.”

 

Rick visibly jumped when Daryl slid the bolts back across the now closed door, catching the amused glint in Carol’s eyes. It wasn’t lost on him that she no longer called Alexandria, home. It wasn’t until he returned back to Michonne and his family, that he realised the full extent of what he had done to this woman standing before him. Michonne called him out on his choices from so long ago, her harsh words making him relive one of the biggest mistakes he’d ever made. Once he’d told her every detail of the wrong he had done to Carol, she’d made him feel worse about everything else. He had to fix it...he needed to.

 

“I came because everyone’s asking to see you,” Rick told her. “They want to know when you’re coming home.”

 

Carol swallowed hard when she thought of the people she’d left behind. They had already lost so many of their family over the last few years, and she knew how much it would pain Rick to lose even more. The day he’d cast her out, he’d caused a chain reaction within her that had made her into the woman she was today. The cautious, loving woman she used to be had died out on the road where her seclusion had shaped her, contorting the strength she’d gained into something she couldn’t even describe. His treatment had left her lost and broken. Her trust had died that day too, along with any kind of life she’d tried to make for herself. She’d lost everything in that one small moment, and until now, she didn’t realise just how much it still hurt.

 

Daryl propped his bow back against the wall and came to stand beside her; his comforting presence reminding her that she wasn’t alone anymore. Her family was right here with her, standing by her side. He was all the family she needed now.

 

“We _are_ home,” Daryl spoke, his unwavering tone sending a spark of fear straight to his brother’s eyes. “Carol and me, we ain’t gonna be apart again.”

 

“No one’s trying to keep you apart,” Rick told them, imploring them to believe him. “Least of all me.”

 

“Why should either’f us believe ya?” Daryl asked, his tone dismissive. “Ya did it once before, remember?”

 

Rick’e eyes flared with shame before he regarded Carol’s still form. She hadn’t said a lot since the hospital, not about the time he’d cast her aside. He knew he had a lot to make up for and that despite her apparent forgiveness, the hurt and anger was still there. He could see it, simmering beneath those fake smiles and he cursed himself for hurting her.

 

“I’m sorry,” he sighed, his eyes seeking them for some kind of forgiveness. “I know it was wrong what I did...and the things I said…”

 

“Ya tried to make her out ta be a killer, when she put two people outta their misery,” Daryl told him lowly, tightening his arm around the woman beside him. “Ya can’t take back the things ya said. It don’t work that way, brother.”

 

“I know…”

 

Carol sighed heavily and slipped out of Daryl’s embrace. She knew that whatever she had to say to Rick had to come from her, not just the man who had become to mean so much to her. Looking into Daryl’s worried eyes, she smiled as she stepped closer, reaching for his hand.

 

“Why don’t you see if you can find us something different for dinner?” she asked him with a smile, keeping her voice as gentle as she could. “I’ve got all those spices Ezekiel gave us. It’s a shame to waste them.”

 

Daryl’s expression softened and he squeezed her fingers. He knew she had things to say to Rick that she didn’t want him to hear. Despite what she’d been through, she was always trying to protect him.

 

“Alright,” he nodded, chewing on his bottom lip before he returned her smile. “Anything’s better than cobbler again, right?”

 

“Yeah,” she chuckled, leaning into his chest. She slipped an arm around his waist and turned her attention towards Rick who was trying to look at anywhere, but at them. “You staying for dinner, Rick?”

 

“Yeah, ya can help us finish those damn cantaloupes,” Daryl grinned. “We’ve got four of the things to eat through before Zeke springs more on us.”

 

Rick blinked at the couple in surprise. A dinner invitation was the last thing he’d expected when he came here. Swallowing at the lump in his throat, he nodded numbly as he watched the two of them. Neither Daryl or Carol cared that he was standing there, watching them as they embraced tightly. He wanted to look away, but he couldn’t seem to tear his eyes from them. From the way they were clinging together, anyone would think that Daryl was leaving for a month, not just a few hours. Maybe this reaction was partly his fault too, after what he’d effectively done to them when he sent Carol away.

 

Daryl pulled back, his fingers skimming Carol’s face before he dipped his head and brushed his lips over hers in an all too brief kiss. Stepping back, he grabbed his crossbow and moved towards the door, sliding the bolts across. He stopped to look at her once more before he shot a warning glare across at his brother who was silently watching him. _She best be still here when I get back_.

 

Then he was gone, closing the door behind him and leaving Carol to turn her attention towards the former sheriff.

 

“I’ll go make us some tea,” Carol spoke, her voice cutting through Rick’s before he could speak. “Sit...I’ll be right back.”

 

Nodding, Rick watched her retreating form before he looked around at the sparse furniture in the room. Moving towards the sofa, he lowered himself onto it, perching on the edge while he waited for her to return. His eyes scanned the small room, his gaze falling onto the framed pictures that covered the walls. Whoever lived here before had taken great lengths to cover every wall with various paintings of flowers and country scenes. It was so stark and so out of place for the present occupants. He wondered how many times that Daryl had thought about ripping them off the wall.. He was so lost in his musings that he didn’t see Carol return until she held a mug of steaming tea in his direction.

 

“Thank you,” he told her, taking the mug from her hand and waited until she came to take the seat on the couch, noting that it was the farthest away.

 

“So,” she sighed, her cool eyes focused on him when she nestled her mug in between her hands. “What is this all really about?”

 

“What?” he asked, taken aback by her suspicions. “I...like I told you. I want you to come home.”

 

“Okay...why?” she asked nonchalantly. “You need more people? Someone to cook and clean for you? Babysitter...”

 

“Carol…”

 

“No, I know exactly why you want us back...or should I say why you want _Daryl_ back,” she huffed as she lifted her mug to her lips, chuckling mirthlessly into the steaming liquid. “You know the only way you can make him go back to Alexandria is to have _me_ there too.”

 

Rick’s eyes flared in dismay...is that really what she thought of him? Shaking his head, he placed his mug onto the small coffee table beside the sofa and turned in his seat to face her.

 

“Carol, no...that’s not it…” he fought to find the right words, knowing he was tripping over his own mistakes. “I want you there...we all want you there. Daryl _and_ you...we’re your family.”

 

“You know, I look around every day and count the losses,” she told him, unable to hide the waver in her voice. “I lost my daughter...my _daughter_ Rick. But I forced her loss to the back of my mind, and not because I don’t care about her, like you accused me of.”

 

Rick closed his eyes, cursing himself for all of the unjustified things he’d said to her on that fateful day. Reaching out to her, he placed his hand on her arm, but she snatched it from his grasp before he could reach her.

 

“I couldn’t think of Sophia because I knew it would destroy me,” her voice was soft as she spoke. Her daughter’s face flashed in her mind, the powerful image bringing tears to her eyes. “I spent her whole life protecting her, but when it really counted it wasn’t enough...she died out there alone and terrified...and I did nothing.”

 

“That’s not true, Carol,” Rick implored. “You did more for her than…”

 

“Than _what_ , Rick?” she hissed, her resolve snapping as a single tear spilled from her eyes. “You have no idea what I’ve lost...or what I’ve had to do. You sent me out there to die, not to find others.”

 

“No…”

 

“And after all this time, you still have your family intact. You have both of your children with you. You have more than anyone. I not only lost my daughter, I lost Mika and Lizzie too...you have no idea what I had to do...what I…” clamping her mouth closed, she placed her mug on the floor and swiped at her eyes. “I’m done being the cook and the babysitter, Rick. That’s not what I am anymore.”

 

“Then come home. Let me prove to you that you’re wanted, and not just because of what you can do. You’re wanted Carol, not just by me but by everyone...” Rick edged forward hopefully, his voice soft and pleading. “There’s enough empty houses. You and Daryl could live in any one of them...please…let me try and make right the wrongs I’ve done to you.”

 

“I think it’s too late,” she all but whispered, her strangled voice losing all of its power. “I don’t belong there anymore.”

 

“Yes, you do,” he blurted, he too fighting back the tears. “You belong more than anyone. Please don’t make my stupid mistake keep you away like this... _please_ …”

 

“And what about Maggie?” she asked, annoyance seeping through her words. “She agreed with you didn’t she?”

 

“What?” he asked, suddenly deflating with remembrance. Every detail of that day crept into his mind and he could almost see the look on Maggie’s face when her lip curled with distaste. At the time he’d seen it as a victory, that at least one person agreed with him...and then when Hershel quietly accepted, in that wise way he always did, he thought that he’d been justified completely.

 

“Beth told me at the hospital in case you’re wondering how I knew. She was so happy to see me, and she made a point to tell me she didn’t agree with her sister. I know Maggie didn’t berate you for acting alone,” she told him cooley. “And I know the two of you didn’t think of me at all until I found you at Terminus.”

 

“That’s not true…”

 

“Which part?” Carol asked, shrugging her shoulders. “Tell me Rick, if I hadn’t have met up with you again, would you have forgotten me?”

 

Rick’s mouth opened to reply but his words got stuck in his throat. No, he hadn’t thought of her...after all this time, he hadn’t even realised that until now.

 

“After the prison fell we were all split up,” he told her on a sigh. “I saw the baby seat that Judith was in, covered in blood...and I thought Judith was gone. I didn’t think of anything but her and Carl...and finding the others.”

 

“Daryl told me a little of that group he met up with. The group who tried to hurt Carl,” she kept her voice even as she spoke, waiting to see if he realised where she was going with this. “When you saw what they tried to do to Carl, did it even cross your mind afterwards that I could have met them before you did?”

 

Rick’s eyes flared wide, a look of horror forming on his face. Shaking his head he reached for her with shaking hands. “But you didn’t…please tell me you didn’t…Carol...I...please…”

 

“I didn’t,” she all but whispered as she met his tear filled eyes. “But I _could_ have.”

 

“I’m so sorry,” he blurted, needing to suddenly touch her. “Carol…”

 

“You know what hurt the most about what you did?” she asked him, sorrow seeping through her voice. “After Ed, I didn’t have a lot of trust in anyone, but then he died, and I learned to believe in people...to trust them...but that day when you left me out there to die, you shattered every bit of trust I had left…”

 

“Carol…”

 

“I’m not saying that what I did to end Karen and David’s suffering was right, but they were bleeding from their eyes and ears. How could I not help them?” closing her eyes Carol was transported back to that awful day, her actions still weighing heavily on her. “I stroked Karen’s hair and told her everything was going to be okay...and then I made it real quick. She didn’t feel anything...and then I did the same for David.”

 

“Why didn’t you tell me that before?” Rick asked her, reaching for her again when she opened her eyes.

 

“Would it had made a difference?” she asked. “You’d already decided my fate anyway, so what would have been the point?”

 

“I know you don’t believe me, but I was really thinking of you when I left you out there,” holding out his hand to quieten her scoffs, he tried again. “I was protecting you from Tyrese. You knew how angry he was.”

 

“Yeah, I knew, and that’s why I pushed my gun into his hand and told him the truth,” she growled. “And he forgave me... _him_ , not _you_...why should I have asked for _your_ forgiveness Rick? It’s you who should have asked for mine.”

 

“I know...and I can only say I’m sorry again and again...please believe me when I tell you I want both of you home, with us.”

 

“I’m the happiest I’ve ever been here,” she told him, meeting his watery eyes. “I love him, Rick...and I won’t make his decision for him, but I can’t go back...not right now.”

 

“Then, just think about it okay,” he asked softly, reaching for her hand. “We’ve already lost so much.”

 

Carol watched him for a few moments, knowing that her silence was unnerving him. There was still so much unresolved anger bubbling up inside her, things that she couldn’t seem to let go of. He had hurt her in a way that even surpassed the bad things Ed had done. Injuries and hateful words she could deal with...those were part of her everyday life before the turn...but that day when he’d cast her out, abandoning her on the side of the road...it stuck with her and wouldn’t go away…

 

Releasing a heavy sigh, she nodded her head to placate him, knowing that going back to Alexandria wasn’t happening any time soon...but Rick needed to see that she was at least going to consider it, even though she never intended to follow through. The relief in his eyes almost made her want to tell him the truth, but she held back. There was no point in rehashing things over and over, so she changed direction and diverted the conversation onto someone else.

 

“Did Tonia go back to Alexandria?”

 

“Tonia?” Rick asked in surprise. “No, she asked to stay on at the Kingdom. Why?”

 

Before she could answer, the front door swung open to reveal the man she loved, carrying four large fish that were secured together on a hook. She was on her feet instantly, her eyes growing wide the excitement of fish for dinner.

 

“Where did you manage to find those?” she asked with a wide smile. “You’ve only been gone…”

 

“Jerry,” he told her, the mirth in his eyes matching hers. “He was on his way over with them, so I told him I’d save him a trip.”

 

“God love that man,” she beamed as she took his offering from him. “Fish for dinner it is then.”

 

Daryl grinned when she disappeared into the kitchen. He placed his bow next to the wall and slid the bolts across the door. He was happy to be home again, something he realised the moment he’d walked through the gate. This place here, with Carol, was his home now. He eyed Rick and sighed as he made his way towards him, to take Carol’s vacated seat.

 

“So, did you guys talk?”

 

Rick nodded, regarding his brother fondly. “Yes...we did.”

 

“And you’re good?”

 

Rick grinned, his eyes bright as he spoke. “Yes, we’re good.”

 

Daryl let out a slow breath and nodded in acceptance. “Alright…”

 

“Can I ask you something?” Rick asked suddenly, keeping his voice low as he spoke. “What happened with Tonia?”

 

“She back at Alexandria?” Daryl asked, his whole demeanor changing with the mention of her name. “Ya think I’m gonna trust her after what she did?”

 

Rick shook his head in confusion. He hadn’t seen Tonia since he’d left the Kingdom a few days ago. “What…”

 

“She made a move on Carol,” Daryl snapped, his eyes glaring across at the man who had become his brother so long ago. “She waited until I wasn’t there before she did it…”

 

“But...Tara…”

 

“Obviously she don’t give a fuck about her...and she used me to get to Carol,” he groused, waving his arm around as he spoke. “I won’t have that woman anywhere near my wife, ya hear me.”

 

“ _Wife?_ ” Rick asked incredulously, unable to process what he was hearing. “Daryl…”

 

“Yeah, cuz whether ya approve or not, that’s what she is to me...I don’t care what any a ya other fuckers think. It’s just me ‘n her from now on.”

 

“What...Daryl, of course I approve,” Rick grinned, leaning forward to pull the other man into a brief hug. “You two are family…”

 

“She needs this,” Daryl told him as he moved back, gesturing to the room around him. “I ain’t gonna go nowhere unless she’s with me, and that includes Alexandria.”

 

“Look, I’ll tell you the same thing I told Carol. All I’m asking is for you to consider it. There’s a house for you if you want it...all of us have lost so much already…”

 

“And what did Carol say when you asked her?”

 

“Much the same as you did,” Rick told him on a sigh. “But she’s willing to consider it, so that’s a start, right?”

 

“Hmm…” Daryl nodded, knowing that there was no way that either of them were returning any time soon. “Yeah, it’s a start.”

 

 

TBC


	4. Chapter 4

Rick watched his two friends as they sat around the small dining table, noticing just how in tune they were with one another. He’d noticed their connection as early as the farm but he never realised just how deep their bond actually was. Placing his cutlery onto his empty plate, he smiled at Carol when she turned to look at him, and was suddenly taken aback by how beautiful she was.

 

“There’s more if you’re still hungry,” she told him as she motioned towards his empty plate. “There was more than enough fish for three of us. I didn’t want to waste the rest, so I've made some fish cakes to cook for us later.”

 

“No, I’m good,” Rick told her with an appreciative smile as he rested a hand over his full stomach. “That was amazing, Carol. Thank you.”

 

“Ya should see what she can do with apples,” Daryl grinned proudly, his gaze lingering over the woman sitting beside him at the table, delighting in the rosy tint that flushed over her cheeks. “Best apple pie I ever tasted.”

 

“Daryl…” she blushed, shaking her head as she basked in his compliments. She could feel Rick’s eyes upon her too, watching her with so much obvious affection that she desperately wanted to change the topic onto something else.

 

“Be better when we get the solar panels hooked up,” Daryl grinned, knowing that she still had trouble accepting compliments, even from him. Reaching for her hand, he stroked his thumb across hers. “We can start using that little freezer in the kitchen.”

 

“Hmm,” she nodded, a bright smile lighting her eyes when she squeezed his fingers. “Hot water and a freezer too...you’re spoiling me, Pookie!”

 

“Staaap…” Daryl chuckled before he released her fingers and pushed his chair back from the table. Getting to his feet he reached for their discarded plates, stacking them on top of each other before Carol could reach for them.

 

“I’ll do that,” she told him, moving to stand but she was pushed back down into her chair with a hand to her shoulder.

 

“Sit,” Daryl told her firmly, his lips lifting into a smile. “I’ll get these.”

 

“You going to wash them too?” she teased, even though her heart gave a little flutter when he met her eyes with an adoring gaze.

 

“Yeah, and I’ll even make ya coffee,” he grinned as he lifted the plates from the table and nodded towards his brother. “Ya can make sure she stays still. She ain’t supposed to be doin’ anythin’ strenuous.”

 

“I’d hardly call washing the dishes strenuous Daryl,” she huffed, shaking her head incredulously. “I can…”

 

“I’d do what he says,” Rick chuckled softly, totally caught up in the love emanating from the two of them. “He’s pretty stubborn when he wants to be.”

 

“Don’t I know it,” she sighed, watching her lover’s retreating form before she tore her eyes away to focus on the man sitting opposite her. She took a few moments to take in his features, noting how the ridges around his eyes were so much deeper now.

 

“What?” he asked softly, slightly embarrassed under her scrutinising eyes. “Have I got something on my face?”

 

“No...sorry,” she smiled. “I was just thinking how much we’ve all changed since the quarry.”

 

Her words took him by surprise, and he was transported back to the time when he’d first seen her, really seen her. He’d been taken aback by how, out of all of them, she was the only one who had tried to keep some semblance of normality in the new apocalyptic world. He remembered how she had been ironing his shirt, ironing. It wasn’t until now, he thought about how much of that was because she’d been programmed so well by her then husband.

 

“We have,” he nodded, losing himself in long distant memories. “This new life has changed all of us.”

 

“Hmm…” she sighed, reaching out to the candle in the centre of the table. She skimmed her fingertips across the melted wax that had formed solid drips over the sides of the unlit candle, lost in her own thoughts.

 

“So...you’re getting solar panels?”

 

Carol pulled her hand away from the candle and looked up at him with a slight smile. She could see that he was trying to make things right between them, and as the evening wore on she could already feel that bitterness from the past, slowly seeping away.

 

“Yes,” she nodded. “I’m looking forward to having hot water again. I got used to not having much of anything when I was here before.”

 

“Carol…” he started, trying to think of the right words. “I…”

 

“I know,” she spoke gently as she pushed her chair back and got to her feet. “Let’s not rehash the past again, okay.”

 

Rick wanted to ask her if she was really okay, but the words died on his lips when she came towards him to rest her hand on his shoulder. Everything in that one moment seemed to melt all of his tension away. Her touch sent a surge of hope straight to his heart, taking a little of the guilt and remorse away with it.

 

“Are we okay?” he asked her through a strained voice, praying that she would be able to forgive him for what he’d done. “Carol…”

 

“I think, in time,” she told him softly as she squeezed his shoulder. “I think we will be.”

 

Tears filled his eyes and he choked on a sob when his hand came up to hers on his shoulder. Squeezing her fingers, he managed to croak out a whispered thank you before he got to his feet and drew her into his arms.

 

When Daryl came back in from the kitchen, he stood in the doorway and watched them silently. A relieved smile formed on his lips when he saw the scene before him. This was a long time coming, and he didn’t want to do anything to break the moment between the two people he loved most in this world.

 

When Rick released his hold, he sniffed back the tears that were gathering in his eyes and smiled down at her. Leaning closer, his lips grazed her forehead, keeping them together for a few more moments before he slowly pulled away to release her completely.

 

“It’s getting late,” Carol told him, her own eyes swimming with unshed tears. “You’re welcome to stay the night. If you don’t mind sleeping on the couch…”

 

“Yeah, stay over tonight...you can head back tomorrow,” Daryl agreed hopefully when he moved further into the room to come and stand beside the woman he loved, slipping his arm around her shoulders. “It’s gonna be dark soon.”

 

Rick’s eyes flittered between the two of them and the small couch, pondering on the possibilities of the evening spent in their company. He knew the kids would be fine, and Michonne was already prepared for him to be gone for a few days anyway...nodding his head, he got caught up in the wave of happiness that emanated from them.

 

“Okay,” he grinned. “I’ll head back in the morning.”

 

“Good,” Daryl nodded, his eyes sparking with happiness when he squeezed Carol’s shoulder. “I’ll need to check the traps in the morning, so I’ll head out with ya.”

 

“Alright then,” Rick told him, his gaze falling onto the woman who was standing beside his brother. “Can I help with anything?”

 

“Nah...sit,” Daryl nodded towards the sofa and loosened his grasp on Carol’s shoulder. He traced the curve of her arm with his fingertips before leaning down to press his lips against her temple. Neither of them caught the amusement in the other man’s eyes as they acted on instinct, both of them falling into the natural intimacy that came with part of being a couple.

 

“Why don’t you stay and talk to Rick,” Carol smiled. “...And I’ll…”

 

“Nice try,” Daryl scoffed, his mock scowl melting into a wide grin when he stepped away from her. “Go...sit...I’ll be back in a minute.”

 

Carol watched him go, smiling incredulously at his lightheartedness. He seemed to have lost all of his fears since they had taken the next step in their relationship. He touched her at every opportunity, whether he realised he was doing it or not. She loved the freedom he gave her to love and be loved. She had never had that before, not from any previous boyfriends, and certainly not from Ed. Even in the very beginning he’d never been overly affectionate, and she’d almost forgotten what it had felt like to be held by someone. Daryl had changed it all for her. He’d given her back the spark that Ed had tried to extinguish...and she loved him so much for that, and for all of the other things he did for her.

 

Coming out of her reverie, she followed Rick across the room and sat down onto the sofa, motioning for him to sit in the lounger a short distance away. Inviting him to stay the night had been a decision that was wrapped around her emotions. She knew he was trying so hard to move on from the past mistakes, and if she was going to start the healing process herself, then she had to try and let the pain go. Looking across at his still form, she reached out across the gap between them and clasped hold of his hand.

 

“How are the children?” she asked him, releasing his hand as she spoke. “Is Judith more settled now?”

 

Rick was suddenly taken aback by the change in conversation, and when he met her soft gaze, he knew what she was trying to do for him. Offering her a bright smile, he sat further back against the cushions and nodded his head in affirmation.

 

“Yeah, she’s settled in her own room now...living at Hilltop for a short time hasn’t fazed her one bit.”

 

“She was born into this,” Carol told him with a sad smile. “She doesn’t know any different than the life she has now...and maybe that’s a good thing.”

 

“Maybe,” he sighed. “But she’s had a lot of family around her since the day she was born...and even though we’ve lost so many, I want to make sure she knows about all of the family that took care of her.”

 

“I think that’s important,” she nodded. “Especially now.”

 

“Everyone misses you, you know that right?” Rick asked her hopefully. _“Everyone.”_

 

“And I’m sure everyone misses Maggie too, now she’s living at Hilltop permanently,” she sighed. “It’s what families do, Rick. We move on, move away...it’s all part of missing each other, and that’s the point of it don’t you think?”

 

“To be miserable?” he asked incredulously. “Because that’s how it feels when I think of how far apart we are, Carol. I miss having both of you around.”

 

“We’re not that far, and Daryl can come visit. You haven’t lost us…”

 

“I want both of you, Carol,” his voice was strained as he spoke, the immense swell of sadness overtaking his words. “We’ve been a family ever since we met at the quarry. All of us...and even though we’re apart right now, doesn’t mean that we’re not still family.”

 

“I know,” she smiled. “All I’m saying is that if you need us, you know we’ll both come to you. That part hasn’t changed.”

 

Before he could answer, Daryl came back into the room carrying a bottle of water which he handed to Carol along with a bottle of her medication. Rick watched, mesmerised when Carol smiled up at the archer adoringly as she unscrewed the pill bottle, tipping two capsules into her palm. Tossing them into her mouth, she gulped down a few mouthfuls of the clear liquid before handing both bottles back to him.

 

“Thank you,” she told him with a smile when his fingers brushed over hers. “How many more of those have I got to take?”

 

“At least another three days worth, then the doc wants to see ya,” he chuckled at her small grimace, knowing just how much she hated being under doctor’s orders. “C’mon, it ain’t that bad.”

 

“Try saying that when he wants to keep me there,” she groused. “I already told him before, I wasn’t staying any longer.”

 

“I don’t think ya have to worry about him keeping ya there,” he scoffed, grinning despite the mock scowl she threw his way. “After the last time I think that’s the last thing he wants!”

 

“Yeah, well, let’s hope Tonia isn’t anywhere around…”

 

“Tonia,” Rick asked suddenly. “You said she’d disappeared?”

 

Daryl placed the two bottles onto the small table next to Rick’s discarded mug, and came to sit beside Carol on the sofa, effectively placing her in between himself and his brother.

 

“Yeah, she hightailed it outta there before anyone could stop her,” Daryl nodded as he slipped his arm over the back of the sofa behind Carol. “She just left.”

 

“She didn’t go back to Alexandria,” Rick told them, shaking his head. “As far as I knew she was staying on at the kingdom for another week.”

 

“Yeah, well I think she rethought her plans when Carol threatened to kill her,” Daryl grinned as his fingers toyed with the ends of Carol’s hair. “The doc let me take her home soon after, and he said no one had seen her since then.”

 

“She hasn’t gone back to Tara?” Carol asked Rick, re clarifying what he’d already told her. “You have to tell her, Rick. She deserves to know her girlfriend’s…”

 

“I will,” Rick told her softly, holding up his hands to silence her worries. “As soon as I get back.”

 

“Zeke’s got his guards looking out for her,” Daryl leaned further into Carol’s side and took comfort from the warmth of her body. “And I’ll make damn sure she doesn’t find us here.”

 

“She doesn’t know about this place,” Carol told him tiredly as she tried to stifle a yawn behind her hand. Lowering her head, she rested her temple against her lover’s shoulder and relaxed into his warmth. “And if she _did_ come here…”

 

“I’d take care of it,” Daryl promised as he lowered his lips into her hair, nuzzling her soft strands. “Y’ain’t gotta worry about her.”

 

“I’m not worried,” she chuckled as she slowly tilted her head upwards until she could meet his eyes. “I don’t think she’d be stupid enough to come here.”

 

Daryl smiled down at her. He’d almost forgotten that Rick was sitting in the chair next to the sofa, trying desperately to focus on something else. Resisting the urge to kiss her, Daryl pulled back, grinning with something akin to pride when she made a soft mewl of disappointment. Reaching for her hand, he threaded their fingers together before he sat up straighter and looked across at his brother.

 

“So, what ya gonna do if she turns up at Alexandria?”

 

Rick sighed, rubbing a hand over his eyes. He looked back up at the couple, regarding both of them with warm affection. They were sitting so close to each other, barely any space between them, and he couldn’t help but smile. They had beaten all the odds every single time...coming back together when everything seemed against them. He owed them so much...he owed Carol everything.

 

“If she comes back, I’ll leave it to Tara to decide. Maybe she can forgive her…” he shook his head in defeat when old ghosts swamped around him bringing long buried regrets along with them. “Maybe she could do for her what I didn’t do for Lori...not until I was too late...”

 

At the mention of her old friend’s name, Carol felt her heart ache for Carl’s and Judith’s loss. She knew how badly Rick had treated Lori throughout her pregnancy. Regardless whether the woman deserved that treatment or not, the regrets of the past weighed heavily on the former sheriff

 

“Maybe she can,” Carol all but whispered, leaning against Daryl’s side. “There’s not a lot of forgiveness left in this world.”

 

Rick regarded her for a few moments and nodded. “You’re right...as always...were you always this wise?”

 

“Pfft…” Carol scoffed incredulously when Rick threw her a wide grin. “Yeah, wise _and_ old... _that’s_ me!”

 

“Y’ain’t that old,” Daryl chortled, nudging her shoulder playfully as he spoke. “But yer smart and ya always know how ta make everythin’ feel right.”

 

“And you’re so much more than that,” Rick told her, his voice wavering as he spoke. “Because of you, we’re all free.”

 

“It was a joint effort,” Carol smiled, lowered her gaze. She focused on her hands, embarrassed at the gushing attention that she didn’t think she deserved. “I only did what I had to do. No great heroics there, I assure you.”

 

“Hey, ya once told me I had to live with the love,” Daryl told her, his gravelled voice so close to her ear. “And I think ya have to live with it too.”

 

“I’d just settle for yours,” she whispered, grinning at him adoringly before she pulled herself back when Rick shifted uncomfortably. Covering Daryl’s hand with her own, she squeezed his fingers before she shuffled forward to perch on the edge of the sofa.

 

“Y’okay?”

 

“I’m fine,” she smiled as she released his hand and got to her feet. “I’ll be right back.”

 

Daryl’s eyes stayed on her when she moved towards the small hall that lead to their bedroom and the small bathroom. He loved her, more than he ever thought it was possible to love another human being. She calmed his chaotic emotions and she gave a purpose to every breath he took. He just wished he could have gotten passed his insecurities so many years ago.

 

“How is she really doing?”

 

Rick’s voice broke through the haze around Daryl’s mind, and he turned to face his brother with questioning eyes. The man before him had been the cause of so much of Carol’s anguish, and at times Daryl just wanted to hurt Rick just as much...but Carol was here...she was with him...nothing else mattered anymore but her.

 

“She’s good,” he nodded, reassuring his brother with as much conviction as he could. “She’s been through a lot since ya dumped her by the side of the road.”

 

“Daryl…”

 

“I know ya said yer sorry and I believe ya,” Daryl sighed. “I do...it’s just...somethin’ happened out there with Tyreese and the girls, and whatever it was...it’s eatin’ at her more each day, and I can’t help her.”

 

“Should I talk to her?” Rick asked him worriedly. “Maybe she’ll…”

 

“Nah, she don’t trust ya anymore,” Daryl told him quietly, his voice slicing through Rick’s words. “Ya broke every damn bit of trust that woman had in anybody the day ya left her out there on her own...and yer damn near broke mine too.”

 

Rick opened his mouth, another apology on his lips when Carol came back into the room. She eyed the two men suspiciously when Rick’s eyes betrayed the turmoil within him. She had heard a little of the conversation when she came out of the bathroom, her feet slowing when she’d heard the worry in Daryl’s voice. She knew that spilling her secrets to him would unburden her heart, and lord knows she needed so much to rid the dark stains that littered her soul...but she wouldn’t do that to him. He had enough of his own nightmares to keep him awake at night.

 

“Hey,” Daryl was on his feet in seconds, his need to touch her taking him to her side. Reaching out, his fingertips skimmed her arm all the way down to her hand to clasp her fingers with his own. “We need ta change that dressing before it gets too dark to see properly.”

 

“I’ve already changed it,” she told him matter of factly, lifting the hem of her shirt slightly for him to see the clean dressing on her stomach. “See…”

 

Daryl’s eyes dipped down towards the white square that covered the angry wound beneath and felt something stir inside him. His pulse quickened when he released her fingers to lay his hand across her stomach, covering the dressing beneath his palm. The intimate touch spread flames throughout his body, causing a spark to reignite the smouldering embers that seemed to be ever present since the day he’d met her.

 

Carol smiled as she covered his hand with her own, gently removing it from her stomach. Her cheeks flushed as she squeezed his fingers, knowing exactly what was going through his mind. She had no doubts that if they were alone in their house, then they would have gone to bed for a very early night...one that didn’t have anything at all to do with sleeping.

 

Taking a step back, she smiled up at him with a look of promise in her eyes. Tonight she would show him just how much his touch inflamed her. She had never been so aware of him before, not in the sense that their bodies seemed to already react to one another with very little contact. Clasping his fingers in between hers, she pulled him along with her, taking him back over towards Rick before ushering him down to sit near his brother again.

 

“I’ll bring the candles in from the kitchen, and we have some cards around here somewhere,” she told them, catching Daryl’s eye when she remembered that the last time they’d played cards together, it had turned into strip poker very, very quickly.

 

She stifled the giggle that danced behind her hand when she caught the way the two men were looking at her. She knew Daryl by heart, he was unable to hide his blushes from her when he relived the same memory as hers. Granting him a wide grin, her eyes gleamed in a silent promise, hoping he knew that their particular games were never off the table.

 

“We’ve got a six pack of beer you two can share,” she told them, already turning towards the kitchen. “It’s warm but…”

 

“What about you?” Rick asked, still trying to register how normal this all felt right now.

 

“Can’t drink with the medication,” she told him with a warm smile. “And I always prefered spirits to beer before anyway.”

 

“We got half a bottle of brandy in the kitchen we’re saving,” Daryl grinned, his eyes flitting between his wife and brother. “Soon as the doc says it’s okay, we’re planning on celebratin’.”

 

“Celebrating what exactly?” Rick asked, his lips lifting into a smile when he regarded his brother fondly. “I seem to remember you celebrating a little too much after Negan!”

 

“Yeah, think we all did,” Daryl scoffed, shaking his head in memory. “That was one hell of a night.”

 

“It really was,” Rick grinned happily, remembering that night with fondness until he lifted his gaze to Carol, and suddenly, all of his mirth seemed to fade away. She had been so distant that night, seeming to segregate herself away from everyone. He’d allowed his thoughts of her to disappear when Michonne had pulled him back into the family fold, and right up until this moment, he hadn’t thought of it at all.

 

Carol could remember that night with perfect clarity. She had watched her family laughing and enjoying just being together, not wanting to join in with their festivities. She was still lost back then; not really belonging anywhere. She had left everyone behind to try and find some semblance of peace, but the ghosts of her past had still continued to haunt her anyway. So on the night of the party, she’d turned up and let everyone see her, before she’d withdrawn and headed towards the doors. She’d hovered there for a few moments, allowing herself to embellish the happiness around her, but it wasn't enough to fill the void that had seemed to open up inside her. Back then she’d been under the impression that no one would miss her. She had been so immersed in her own grief, and she’d quietly slipped away before anyone could realise she was gone.

 

“I’ll find the candles,” her voice wavered a little as she spoke, her heart aching with the memories of how desolate she’d felt then. “Be right back.”

 

Daryl watched her leave and moved to get to his feet to follow her, but Rick reached across to stop him. Shaking off his brother’s hand, Daryl eyed Rick with more than a little regret from that night. He’d been an ass too, he hadn’t gone to her when she’d needed him...as always he’d been too late, and too drunk to realise that her usual affirmation that she was okay, really meant that she wasn’t. Before he could get to his feet, she returned from the kitchen carrying a lit candle, her eyes showing no trace of the hurt she’d harboured only a short time ago.

 

“You want to light the others?” she asked as she handed the flickering candle to Daryl, smiling when his fingers skimmed across hers when he took it from her. “I’ll fetch the beer.”

 

“Is there anything I can do?” Rick asked then, suddenly feeling a little useless just sitting by watching the two of them.

 

“No, sit,” Carol told him with a bright smile. “You’re our guest, so you stay right there.”

 

Rick watched her retreating form once more, and swallowed at the lump that seemed to be ever present in his throat. This woman had brought so much peace to all of them, and he only hoped that she could eventually find some peace of her own. He watched silently when she came back into the room, gravitating towards his brother like a moth to a flame, and he knew just by seeing them together, that being here was exactly where she needed to be.

 

000

 

A few hours later, Carol laid in their bed, waiting for Daryl to finish in the bathroom and come through. It had been a nice evening despite her brief lapse into the past. It had been so good to laugh again; to watch the man she loved enjoy spending time with the former sheriff who was his brother in every way that counted. She’d been content to watch the two of them reminiscing and laughing. Their happiness had been the tonic she’d needed to push the past back behind her walls, closing the pain away and back to where it belonged.

 

When Daryl came into their bedroom, she felt a shiver of excitement course through her. Her body tingled with anticipation when he closed the door and turned to look down at her. The single candle on the small dresser was just enough to highlight his face, and she couldn’t miss the sultry smile that lifted his lips when he moved his fingers to the buttons on his shirt. Carol gulped a little when he seemed to take his time, slowly slipping the buttons open one by one, his eyes on hers as his fingers worked their way down the shirt. When he pulled the last one free, he allowed the shirt to fall open, delighting in the way her eyes travelled over his body before she moved in the bed.

 

Shifting onto her side, she pulled herself upwards and deliberately allowed the sheet to fall from her body. It slipped from her bare breasts and down her slender stomach, to pool around her hips, but it was enough for him to crawl on the bed towards her. He caught her mouth before she could move any closer, and slid his tongue across her bottom lip, deepening the kiss in one swift movement. His hands came up her body, skimming across her waist before sliding up further. Spanning his fingers wide, he caught a pert nipple in between his fingertips, squeezing the hardened bud to elicit a soft moan from her.

 

Carol lifted herself up further, her own hands pushing at his open shirt to slide the restricting material over his shoulders. His hands lefts her breasts to help her free him of the unwanted garment before her nimble hands were popping the buttons on his jeans. His mouth left hers with a gasp when she delved her fingers inside, encircling his swollen member before he had any time to prepare. He was dizzy and tingling with so much need that he didn’t realise what she was doing until his brain slowly began to unscramble. Lifting his head, he gave her heated kisses better access to his throat, his soft groans mingling with the soft mewls she was making. His mouth opened in soundless gasps when she travelled even lower, caught between the sizzling pleasure she was causing throughout his body.

 

Carol pushed at his jeans, hooking her free hand over the waistband of them until they hung around his thighs. His erection sprang free, and before he could move to free himself of the restricting material, her hot mouth was on him, sucking hard as she took him into her mouth. Daryl’s arms fell away, hanging by his side as he tried desperately not to thread his fingers through her hair. His fingers clenched and unclenched when the pleasure shot through his groin like a bolt of lightning. He could feel himself falling, the heat of his orgasm already building at a terrifying speed. Somewhere in the back of his frazzled mind, he knew that she had probably been forced to do this by that dead sonofabitch she was married to before. So he fought with every ounce of restraint he could, not to move, but his treacherous body took over, thrusting into her mouth. He tried to stop, to slow things down, but no matter how much he tried, she was having none of it.

 

Her arms wrapped around his waist, holding him captive as she continued her heavenly ministrations on his engorged flesh. He could feel himself coming apart and tried to find his voice to tell her she had to stop, but he couldn’t get the words out. He’d never felt this way before...never been on the cusp of release, kneeling on the edge of the bed with his jeans tangled around his thighs. This woman was erotic with a capital e...she did things to him that he’d never experienced with any other woman...but those thoughts suddenly scattered in all different directions when he felt the burst of heat coil within him. He tried to warn her, to push her away but she held on tight, increasing her pace until he completely fell apart. He shuddered uncontrollably when erupted into her mouth, gasping and groaning when his orgasm gripped his body. She kept her arms around his hips, squeezing his him tighter as she moved with him. She swirled her tongue expertly around his cock, taking every part of him until he had nothing left to give her.

 

When she finally released him, she kissed around his stomach, nipping at his tender skin until she slowly pulled away to look up at him with a sultry grin. She slid her arms from around his waist and caught hold of his fingers as she laid back onto the bed, slowly pulling him down with her…

 

Out in the living room, Rick was just dozing when he heard it. His eyes sprang open as he listened to the noise that had interrupted the silence. At first he thought it was just the wind tapping tree branches against the outer wall...but when the groans drifted through the air, he gulped with sudden recognition. The unmistakable sounds of a headboard hitting the wall, followed by grunts and...and _groans_...no...they weren’t...oh god they _were_ …

 

Clamping his eyes tightly shut he rolled onto his side and pillowed the cushions that Daryl had given him around his ears. He held on tight, hoping to muffle the sounds coming from the bedroom, feeling a lot like a kid hearing his parents having sex in the next room. How the hell was he supposed to face them tomorrow morning without blushing. Did they even know that the sounds of their carnal encounter vibrated through the walls? He tried to think of something else...walker guts...rotting flesh...anything to create a distraction, but when the noises continued and showed no signs of slowing down, his thoughts shifted onto Michonne, and how she was going to react to this little snippet of information. As the night wore on and the noises from the bedroom started to fade away, he sighed in relief when silence once again filtered throughout the little house. Closing his eyes again, he chuckled to himself when he thought of the embarrassment of his brother’s face, if he dared to congratulate him on his stamina in the morning...but he wouldn’t do that to him. Smiling, Rick took a deep breath and thanked whoever was listening, for the blissful gift of sleep.

 

Sighing heavily, he relaxed his arms and allowed the cushions to fall away from his ears and tried to fall into slumber, but he couldn’t seem to relax just yet. There was still so much guilt floating around inside him. The quiet allowed his mind to wander over the memories that still plagued him. So many wrongs he needed to right, and so such loss that still caused his heart to ache...but as he slowly started to relax, his last thoughts as he slipped into a restless sleep were of his dead wife and the life they’d lost…

 

000

 

Outside, she moved through the trees, following the directions she’d heard Jerry give to Rick, the leader of Alexandria. She couldn’t go back there now, not after she knew that Tara wasn’t who she wanted to be with. She couldn’t stop the surge of heat that came around her when she thought of the silver haired woman who had looked upon her with so much fierce determination. She just needed to see her, to explain to her that the man who claimed to love her was just lying to relieve his own guilty conscience...no, Carol deserved better...she deserved a lover who could give her everything...and she could give her that.

 

Slipping through the trees, she saw the little house and felt her heart soar with excitement. Soon Carol would know how it felt to be loved completely...soon…

 

Tonia smiled to herself as she slowly walked towards the little house, but stopped when she realised it wasn’t the right time. No, she needed to wait until Carol was on her own...she needed her to see just how right they were...Tonia and Carol...it had a nice ring to it, she mused...really nice…

 

Slipping back into the shelter of the trees, Tonia smiled when she realised just how close she was to the love of her life...soon, she would be with her...and Daryl Dixon would be nothing but a sour memory...soon…

 

TBC


	5. Chapter 5

Rick cracked open one eye and shifted onto his side. He’d only managed to sleep a few hours on and off throughout the night. He kept waking sporadically when the wind outside the house howled through the cracks in the wooden window frames. Easing himself upright, he looked around the darkened room, noting how the bright sunshine beamed strips of light through the small gaps between the closed drapes.

 

Unable to fight off the urge to pee any longer, he pulled himself to his feet and groaned. The knots in his lower back protested when he twisted his spine, trying to loosen the kinks that came with age and far too much physical activity over the years. Taking a step forward, he made his way towards the hallway, knowing that he would need to pass the bedroom on his way to the small bathroom at the end of the hall.

 

With tentative steps, he moved as quietly as he could, but as soon as he came to his friends bedroom, he tried not to glance in through the open door. The sound of breathing in tandem caused him to pause for a few seconds, and he found his gaze shifting into the room. The door was only open wide enough for him to catch a glimpse of the end of the bed. No matter how much he tried to tear his eyes away, he couldn’t help but see how even in sleep, the couple laid together in a tangle of limbs. Two very different pairs of legs were entangled together, sticking out from beneath the covers. On the floor beside the bed there was a discarded pile of clothes that were lying in a crumpled heap, and he was suddenly reminded of the carnal sounds that had drifted through the house the night before. Forcing himself to move away, Rick felt his face flush a little as he moved towards the small bathroom, hoping that he wouldn’t blush in embarrassment when he faced the two of them that morning.

 

When Daryl finally emerged just over an hour later, he nodded towards his brother in greeting. His hair was sticking up in all different directions but he didn’t even attempt to pat the errant strands down when he moved towards the far end of the room.

 

“Ya want coffee?” he asked through a yawn, disappearing from Rick’s view as he walked into the kitchen.

 

Rick got to his feet, trying to comprehend just how normal and domestic this whole situation felt. Even when they were all living in the house together in Alexandria, Daryl had still been so distant. He’d spent most of his days outside the walls. Rick couldn’t ever remember seeing Daryl walking through their house back home in bare feet, or even with an open shirt. This kind of thing was something that would have never happened in Alexandria, not even now the war was over.

 

Making his way towards the kitchen, Rick stood in the open doorway and watched as the other man filled the small kettle with some water from a large plastic container. Turning around, Daryl regarded his brother when he placed the kettle on top of the little camping stove he’d found a few days earlier.

 

“Carol used ta boil water in a pan over the fire when she lived here before,” Daryl told him, not really knowing why that was important. “Guess she learned how ta be resourceful when she was out there on her own.”

 

“She always was,” Rick nodded, his heart hammering in his ears as he spoke. “I guess none of us really appreciated that about her back then.”

 

“That’s cuz none a ya were payin’ attention,” Daryl told him, still trying to clamp down on the sudden bursts of anger that sprang up without warning. “Except me.”

 

Rick nodded numbly, trying to keep himself from apologising again for something he should never have done in the first place. Opening his mouth to speak, his words died on his lips when he saw Daryl focus on something behind him, and he didn’t need to turn around to know what that something was.

 

The hairs on the back of Rick’s neck stood on end when he felt her walking up behind him. Turning around to greet her, he was suddenly struck dumb, his mouth opening and closing when he saw her. She was stunning...had she always looked like this and he just hadn’t noticed before? His eyes met hers and he found himself returning her warm smile.

 

“Hey sweetheart,” Daryl grinned, catching her eye when she beamed a smile his way. “Water’s on to boil. Ya want coffee?”

 

“Mmm, please,” she nodded before she patted Rick’s shoulder and moved towards the windows. She pulled the drapes open and the bright sunshine spilled out into the room. Rick watched as she stood for a few moments, allowing the heat to caress her face. She looked so incredibly serene standing there, that he too seemed to fall into that same peace. He could see why his friends liked living in this house, he could finally see it...this was their home just as much as Alexandria was.

 

“Carol…”

 

At the sound of his voice, Carol turned from the window to look at him, a soft smile gracing her lips. She watched him questioningly, her blue eyes holding his with such a calm demeanor, that he found himself holding his breath.

 

“Did you sleep okay?” she asked him softly as she took a step towards him. “I know the sofa’s not the most comfortable thing to sleep on.”

 

“Yeah, try sleepin’ on there when there’s two a ya,” Daryl quipped when he came into the room to press a kiss against her temple on his way towards the bathroom. “Gonna take a piss. The water’s almost boiled.”

 

Carol chuckled when she caught his retreating form, her eyes lingering over him until he disappeared from view. Turning back around, she offered Rick a wide grin before she moved towards the kitchen, beckoning him to follow.

 

“We’ve got some oatmeal if you’re hungry,” she called, her voice drifting through the air towards him. “Or I can make some pancakes...they’ll have to be plain though. We used the last of the strawberries yesterday.”

 

“Oatmeal’s fine,” Rick’s voice was soft as he spoke, his closeness causing her to jump a little. When she turned around, her eyes caught his and it killed him to still see how she was still so guarded around him. “Thank you, Carol…”

 

“For what?”

 

“For this,” he told her softly, lifting his arms, gesturing to the space around them. “After everything, you still treat me with more kindness than I deserve.”

 

“You helped me and Sophia,” she shrugged, as if his words didn’t matter either way anymore. “You didn’t have to do that for us.”

 

“I did,” he told her stepping a little closer. “We were becoming a family, even back then…”

 

“Yeah, I guess that’s true...some of us anyway,” turning away from him she lifted the whistling kettle from the little stove and poured boiling water into each of the three mugs. “You’re Daryl’s brother, and it’s important for him to know he has family.”

 

“You’re family too,” Rick’s voice wavered a little when he whispered those words. He’d done this to her, _him_. “Carol…”

 

Carol’s hands stilled with his words and she tried to push that constant feeling of betrayal away from her heart. Every time she thought she was over it, it just came right back, gripping hold of her so tightly and it wouldn’t let her go. She had always been so forgiving in the past, and lord knows she’d forgiven Ed for doing worse things to her. It was as if she was in this constant swirl of pain that reared up to push back on any kind of happiness she was trying to feel. When she was with Daryl, just the two of them, the happiness overtook that pain. She felt so much when she was with him, but with Rick it was different. All he did was remind her that she didn’t really belong, and that the family ties they had all strived so hard to make, could be broken and left in tatters so easily.

 

“I don’t think I am anymore,” she told him in a whisper, knowing the words would hurt him just as much as they did her. “But that’s okay…”

 

“No it’s not,” moving towards her, Rick reached out a tentative hand to rest it over her shoulder. He felt her tense beneath his fingers but he didn’t draw away. “It’s not…”

 

Carol swallowed at the lump in her throat, forcing the wall of emotion back to where it had come from. Taking a breath, she returned to her task and stirred powdered milk into Rick’s coffee before stepping out from under his touch.

 

“It’s really okay, Rick,” she told him when she turned around to face him, meeting his watery gaze. “I’m okay with it this way...I have been for a while.”

 

_“Carol…”_

 

Before Rick could tell her all of the reasons that she was still a valued member of their family, his brother returned and the sadness from Carol’s eyes suddenly melted away.

 

“Hey,” she beamed, her eyes softening the second she saw him. “I’m making oatmeal, you want some?”

 

“Hmm...sounds good,” Daryl nodded when he moved to take the offered mug from her hand. “Ya want me to make it?”

 

“No, I’ll finish up,” she told him, her lips curling into a wide smile. “You and Rick go and sit. I’ll call you when it’s done.”

 

Rick’s gaze lingered over the silver haired woman who had come to mean so much to all of them. His heart ached with loss, and he knew that he had no one but himself to blame. It hurt to think that she no longer felt a part of their family, but he was determined to show her that she still was. Tearing his eyes away from her lithe form, he followed his brother out of the kitchen and set about trying to figure out a way of how to make things right. He knew it wasn’t going to be easy, but he was determined to show her one way or another.

 

000

 

Carol stood at the open door and watched the two men until they disappeared from view, before she turned around to go back inside. She knew Daryl was going to be gone for a while, especially when Rick had been trying so hard to draw the two of them into a conversation about a house in Alexandria. She knew why he was doing it, and part of her begged her to see how hard he was trying to make amends. She had promised him she would try, even though as she spoke the words she couldn’t quite believe she was even capable of trying anymore.

 

Sighing heavily, Carol made her way back into the kitchen and picked up the old worn bucket that sat balanced on a shelf near the back door. If they were going to stay here for a while, then she thought it was about time she tended to the small vegetable patch she’d planted when she lived here before the war. Grabbing the hand trowel from a hook, she made her way towards the front of the house and out into the warm sunshine.

 

The sound of birds chirping seemed to calm her as she knelt onto the dry grass. The ground was hardened with the lack of moisture, and she mentally calculated how much water they could spare. Reaching down, she grabbed at the weeds that had sprouted out between the carrots and potatoes, pulling at the greenery to clear it away from the vegetable plants. When she had lived here before she hadn’t really thought about the long term. She’d merely been trying to just live with what she’d done. There were so many ghosts haunting her, and before the war, she’d been ready to take whatever punishments she thought she deserved. She had been ready to die.

 

Reaching down to the hardened earth, she continued with her task. She had no idea how much time had passed since she was last here, but by the vast growth of the unwanted weeds, it must have been a while. Pausing for a moment, Carol looked around at the remaining space and formulated a plan in her head. Next time she went out into the woods, she would dig up some of the marigold plants she’d seen the last time she was here. Maybe she could find other wild plants too...

 

A sudden snap behind her brought her out of her thoughts. Within seconds she had her knife in her hand, whirling around, striking out at the intruder before they could even react. Everything passed in a blur of movement that left the intruder stepping backwards, hands raised in surrender. Carol’s eyes flared with recognition, causing her to press the tip of her blade closer.

 

“Carol…” Tonia squeaked, her eyes wide with terror when she felt the cold metal pushing against her skin. “I…”

 

_“Leave,”_ Carol told her coldly, pressing the blade even closer.

 

“I...I’m not here to hurt you...I needed to tell you…” Tonia gasped out, holding her hands out to her side. “You deserve...you deserve to know...Daryl’s just using you...”

 

“I said _LEAVE_ ,” Carol growled, her eyes flaring with fire as she moved a little closer, forcing Tonia backwards as she moved.

 

_“DARYL LOVED BETH…”_

 

Tonia’s shriek brought Carol to a standstill, her steely gaze unwavering. The young blonde, swallowed against the sharp point that dug into her throat but she tried again, attempting to keep her voice steady as she spoke.

 

“They were together for a week after you all got separated...and...they...got close…” When Carol’s expression didn’t change, Tonia kept her focus. “He told me...things when we talked...things about her...and how they planned to stay together, just the two of them…”

 

“That’s it?” Carol asked lowly, rage building inside her. “That’s all you’ve got?”

 

“He didn’t look for you...because you weren’t his first choice, you know that…” Tonia saw the glimmer of hurt in the older woman’s eyes before the tough mask fell over her face again...but there was enough doubt there for her to force her way in. “He wanted her...but she died and...he lost himself for a long time...you remember what he was like, right?”

 

Carol kept her gaze focused on the woman standing before her, wanting to shut her up and listen to what she had to say at the same time. A tiny flicker of doubt crossed her mind but she pushed it away just as quickly. Beth was gone, and so was the past. Shifting her stance, she dug the knife in deeper, watching, mesmerised when a tiny trickle of blood oozed a small droplet down Tonia’s pale throat.

 

“If she’d survived…you know deep down that he wouldn’t have chosen you...you know it. I saw it when we were at Alexandria...I saw how you watched us...how hurt you were...”

 

“Leave, or I _will_ kill you,” Carol warned her, anger welling in her veins.

 

“He settled, Carol,” Tonia told her, her voice becoming softer as tears welled in her eyes. “He never wanted you like he did her, but he didn’t want to be alone...can’t you see that?”

 

_“SHUT UP.”_

 

“Whatever he’s told you is a lie, Carol...he’s lying to you…”

 

“I said _STOP_ ,” Carol seethed, lunging at the young woman so fast that she didn’t see the blow coming until it was too late. Tonia fell to the floor in a daze; the crack on her head causing the sounds to echo around her. The world began to spin and she suddenly felt herself falling sideways, hitting the floor with a thump before the world around her turned to black.

 

000

 

“Did ya talk with Carol?” Daryl asked his brother as they followed the dirt track towards the truck Rick had used to get here. “She asked ya to stay, so that’s gotta be a good sign right?”

 

“Yeah, I did,” Rick nodded, glancing across at his brother as they walked.

 

“And are the two of ya good?”

 

Rick swallowed at the lump in his throat when he thought back to a short time before. Carol had been so quiet and so desolate, something that he couldn’t seem to change no matter how much he spoke.

 

“She’s not going to make it easy for me,” Rick told him, chuckling mirthlessly. “I did more than just leave her out there that day, and she’s going to make me pay for that mistake every single day.”

 

Daryl’s eyes focused on the man beside him, worry etched in his face. He knew how much Carol had been hurt by Rick’s actions, and he wasn’t totally blameless either. He didn’t rush out of the prison to find her the second he’d realised what Rick had done.

 

“She’ll forgive ya,” his voice was so sure of that fact, and when Rick turned his head to look at his brother, Daryl just nodded in reassurance. “She will.”

 

“I hope you’re right about that, Daryl,” Rick sighed. “She’s living out here because of me...because of what _I_ did…”

 

“Hey, she ain’t alone,” Daryl groused, shaking his head as he spoke. “I ain’t never leavin’ her after this. I lost her too many times before.”

 

“You really love her don’t you?” Rick asked, his mouth tilting upwards into a grin. “It’s always been you and her since as long as I can remember.”

 

“Yeah, I do,” Daryl grinned, knowing that his cheeks were flamed red before he spoke. “She’s everythin’ ya know...always has been.”

 

“Yeah, I do,” Rick laughed, already feeling a little lighter than he did a few minutes ago. “And I want you to know I’m gonna do everything I can to convince her she’s still part of us.”

 

“Whaddya mean, still part of us?” Daryl asked in confusion, his eyes fixed on his brother as they walked side by side. “Rick?”

 

Coming to a standstill, Rick waited until Daryl stopped moving to stand beside him, his unwavering gaze fixed on his face. Guilt washed over him once more when he replayed his earlier conversation with Carol over and over in his head.

 

“She doesn’t feel like she’s part of our family,” Rick sighed, shaking his head as he spoke. “But she is...I told her she is, no matter what happened before.”

 

Daryl was silent for a few moments, his steel blue eyes holding his brother in a heated stare that left Rick close to tears. “She ain’t felt part of _anythin’_ for a while.”

 

_“What…”_

 

“It ain’t all on you,” Daryl tapped his brother’s shoulder and began walking again. “I didn’t help none either...after Beth died, I shut everyone out, includin’ her.”

 

Rick watched his brother’s retreating form before he moved to follow him, confusion marring every step. “Beth’s death hit all of us pretty hard.”

 

“Yeah...I felt like I’d failed her, y’know.”

 

“Are you sure that’s all it was?” The words had barely left Rick’s lips before Daryl suddenly stopped, causing Rick to collide with him. Turning around to face his brother, Daryl regarded him with barely contained fury.

 

“The _fuck_ ya say to me?” Daryl’s eyes reduced to angry slits, piercing the man before him with a deadly glare.

 

“You were with her for a long time, out there, alone,” Rick started, his voice cautious. “You said it yourself, remember.”

 

“It _weren’t_ like that,” Daryl hissed, throwing his arms to the side in frustration. _“Fuck!”_

 

“If it weren’t like that,” Rick lowered his voice, stepping a little closer towards the man before him. “Then why did you act like it was?”

 

“She was like a kid sister,” Daryl spat angrily, shoving at Rick’s chest, pushing him backwards. “That’s all it was...nothin’ more.”

 

“All I’m saying is think of how it looked to her,” Rick gestured his arm behind him, indicating the woman they’d left behind. “She saw you grieving...she saw you shut her out...she gave up, Daryl...and she left us because of the things that we did to her. You _and_ me, _all_ of us…”

 

Daryl chewed at his bottom lip and looked at the track behind him. His instincts were screaming at him to go back; to run back to her. His whole body ached as he thought of his past mistakes. He loved her more than he’d ever loved anyone else in his whole damn life, and here was Rick, of all people, telling him he’d treated her like she wasn’t even important.

 

“Go,” Rick’s voice broke through his thoughts, and he looked at his brother with tear filled eyes. Laying a hand on his shoulder, the former sheriff nodded in understanding. “The truck’s not far from here. I can walk the rest of the way on my own...go back to her, Daryl. Make sure she knows she’s the only woman you’ll ever want.”

 

Daryl closed his eyes and gasped in a ragged breath. If Rick was right, then he’d been a massive asshole all this time. Opening his eyes, he met his brothers worried gaze and nodded his head before he reached out to grasp the other man’s shoulder.

 

“Keep safe.”

 

“You too, brother,” Rick told him as he turned away, calling out before he disappeared from view.. “Tell Carol her family loves her, okay.”

 

Dayl slowed to a stop and turned back around, regarding his brother for a few moments, offering him a slight nod before he turned back around and made his way back towards Carol and home.

 

000

 

Tonia’s eyes slowly blinked open, only to close again just as quickly when the dull ache in her temple forced her to take a shaky breath. Swallowing hard, she opened her eyes again, blinking at the sunlight that hit her, causing everything around her to seem marred. She shook her head and blinked again, hoping the action would clear her vision, but when she tried to lift her arms, she suddenly realised that she couldn’t move. Panic swirled around her as she fought to remember where she was, but when something blocked out the sunlight from her eyes, her focus slowly cleared, and she found herself face to face with the woman she had come to love.

 

“Carol?”

 

“I wouldn’t try to move if I was you. Those rope ties start cutting into the skin when you pull at them,” Carol’s voice echoed through the room, and when Tonia looked across at the silver haired woman, her eyes flared with fear. Carol was standing against a window, holding her knife up into the light and Tonia suddenly felt herself begin to shake.

 

“Carol…” she tried again, hoping that the older woman would just listen and understand that she had never come here to hurt her. “I…”

 

“Why did you come here, Tonia?” Carol asked coldly. “You thought you could spout your shit to me and I’d suddenly leave Daryl for you?”

 

“No...I...I just wanted to make you happy…”

 

“I _am_ happy,” Carol growled lowly, her eyes glinting with fire as she stepped closer, her knife glinting when the sunlight bounced off of the blade. “And yet _you_ want to destroy it.”

 

“No...no that’s not…” shaking her head, Tonia tried to move her arms but her hands were bound so tightly behind her back. “Carol...please…”

 

“You think you know me,” Carol told her, her lips tilting upwards into a wry grin before something sinister and dangerous lit in her eyes. “You have no idea what I am capable of.”

 

“I know you,” Tonia blurted. “I know you more than you think.”

 

“You think so?” Carol asked, her eyes glazing over for a few seconds until she brought her gaze back onto the knife in her hand. “Did you know that I rammed this knife into two people’s heads because they were sick?”

 

Tonia’s eyes grew wide, and her mouth dropped open but she didn’t speak. The look in Carol’s eyes was something both deadly and devastating, and Tonia knew better than to say another word.

 

“Did you know that I threatened to use this same knife to slit a man’s throat if he interfered with someone I loved?” Moving away from the window, Carol stepped a little closer towards the younger woman, noting how her whole demeanor had changed. “That man was Daryl’s own brother.”

 

“Would you have done it?” Tonia asked, her voice shaking a little as she watched Carol move closer.

 

“Yes…” Carol’s voice lowered as she spoke, her eyes becoming a little more colder as she focused on the woman before her. “Without hesitation.”

 

“B..but you didn’t?”

 

“I didn’t need to,” Carol started to walk, moving in slow circles around the frightened woman. “He loved Daryl as much as I did...so we came to an agreement. He wouldn’t mess with Daryl and I wouldn’t kill him.”

 

“That’s only two things…” Tonia’s voice rose a little as she spoke, foolishly gaining back a little courage. “I’m not afraid of you.”

 

When Carol suddenly stopped moving and turned to press the cool blade against Tonia’s cheek, she bent lower until they were eye to eye. “ _You_ should be.”

 

“I love you,” Tonia gasped out, her eyes darting between Carol’s steel blue eyes and the blade she wielded. Her words echoed throughout the small room and for a moment Tonia thought she had finally gotten through to the older woman. Meeting Carol’s gaze, she blinked a few times and tried to smile, but Carol suddenly drew the knife back only to fold her arms across her chest.

 

“ _YOU_ don’t know me,” Carol hissed, turning away from Tonia to move back towards the window. “Either you’re incredibly stupid or you actually believe you have feelings for me.”

 

“I do…”

 

“Then you shouldn’t,” Carol snapped, turning around to face her again. “ _I_ am in love with a man...a _MAN_.”

 

“But he lied to you,” Tonia cried, losing the battle with her emotions. This wasn’t how it was supposed to happen at all. “He is still lying to you.”

 

“Whatever did or didn’t happen between him and Beth is gone,” Carol growled. “She’s dead.”

 

“But…”

 

“I’m tired of this shit,” moving forward, Carol lifted the knife up a little higher, her eyes filled with fire. “You have no idea who I am...what I can do...and if you keep coming. If you keep spouting your bullshit, then I will kill you.”

 

“It’s not crap...it’s not…you’re not a bad person, you wouldn’t hurt anyone.”

 

“I shot a child in the back of her head,” Carol seethed, her voice hollow and filled with pain. “She was twelve years old and I killed her...so don’t you _dare_ tell me I’m not a bad person. I’m the worst of them all.”

 

Before Tonia could speak, the door suddenly opened to reveal Daryl. His bow was raised and aimed at her head before she could even formulate a scream. Tonia felt her whole body shake as she flitted terrified eyes between the couple who both held weapons that were pointed to her head. Both of them looking at her with the same contempt, and the same dangerous stance.

 

“Fuck ya think yer doin’ here?” Daryl growled menacingly before he turned his worried gaze onto the woman he loved. “Y’okay?”

 

Carol nodded, her eyes still fixed on the woman who was watching the two of them with fearful eyes. “She came here to tell me you were only with me because there’s no one else. She said you loved Beth...you only settled for me because you can’t have her.”

 

Fury coursed through Daryl’s body like molten lava when he caught the tinge of pain in Carol’s voice. Moving closer to Tonia he lifted his bow a little higher, his eyes fierce as he fought to control his temper. “Lyin’ bitch’s tryin’ to put shit in ya head. Ain’t true, none’f it.”

 

“I know,” Carol told him, still keeping her gaze locked onto the woman before them. “She _thinks_ she knows me.”

 

“I do know you,” Tonia gasped out. “You think you’re this awful person who doesn’t deserve to be happy, but you’re not.”

 

“You don’t know anything,” Carol warned, blinking fiercely at the tears blurring her eyes. She could feel Daryl’s eyes upon her, his worried gaze penetrating the haze around her. Her heart was pounding in her ears and all she wanted was to turn back time and go back to a few hours before.

 

“Hey…” Daryl’s soft voice was close to her ear, and Carol turned her head to see him standing beside her. His bow was still raised but the heat from his body seemed to calm her; his presence giving her the strength she needed to regain her footing.

 

“The child you killed,” Tonia’s voice wavered as she spoke, trying to reel Carol away from the man beside her. Focusing on Carol’s haunted eyes, she watched as the older woman started to tremble. Causing her pain was the farthest thing from Tonia’s mind, but she needed Carol to spill the darkest secret that seemed to weigh her down...something she was sure that Daryl didn’t know either. “She turned, right? It isn’t killing if she had already turned...see you’re not bad...you’re not…”

 

“No,” Carol’s whole demeanor suddenly changed as her hand began to shake and she slowly lowered the knife, fighting back the welling tears that had gathered in her eyes. Turning towards the man she loved, Carol shook her head, speaking directly to him. “No…”

 

“Carol?” Keeping his bow pointing at Tonia’s head, Daryl’s eyes grew concerned when he saw how Carol seemed to be falling apart before his eyes. “Hey…”

 

“I killed Lizzie…” the words tumbled from her lips, the deep guttural wail that followed bringing her onto her knees. “I killed her...oh god...I killed her…”

 

TBC


	6. Chapter 6

Daryl’s eyes flared with disbelief when Carol sank to the floor. The air around them grew silent, and the only sound to be heard was the deep guttural sobbing coming from the woman who was on her knees. Carol’s arms were wrapped around herself as she rocked back and forth, her eyes clamped shut against the tears that refused to stop falling.

 

It took a few seconds before Daryl came out of his shocked state to drop his bow and lean it against the wall. Kicking the front door closed, he shot a glare towards the blonde woman who was secured to a chair, warning her to keep quiet without saying any of the words. The sounds coming from the woman he loved tore through him, breaking everything inside him. He’d always known there was some deeper horror that haunted her, ever since their reunion after Terminus...but out of all the scenarios he’d run through inside his head, this hadn’t been one of them.

 

Moving closer he lowered himself onto the floor beside her, reaching out to gently take the knife from her trembling hand. Her knuckles were white from the strength of the hold, but when she felt his touch she fell into his side. The knife fell with a dull thud onto the carpet beside his crossbow, the sound causing her eyes to spring open. Turning her head, she burrowed herself into his embrace, her whole body crumbling under the weight of her grief. His love was more than she deserved, she knew that...after everything she’d done...she knew it.

 

“I’m here,” he told her softly, wrapping his arms around her while she broke apart. “I ain’t goin’ nowhere...not gonna leave ya again…”

 

“ _Lizzie_ …” she sobbed, her fingers clutching fistfulls of his shirt. “I…”

 

“Hey, y’aint gotta tell me anythin’ ya don’t want to...it’s okay…”

 

“She needs to say it, Daryl,” Tonia’s voice filtered through the room like an acrid smell, unwanted and as equally unpleasant. “Let _her_ say it.”

 

“What the _FUCK_ are ya even doin’ here, stupid bitch,” he spat, as he tugged Carol tighter into his body. “Ain’t ya done enough.”

 

“I told her the _truth!_ ”

 

“Y’ain’t got no fuckin’ idea a the truth,” he hissed, his face contorting into something Tonia hadn’t seen in him before. “Ya come here, to _our_ home, spoutin’ a ton a shit about somethin’ ya ain’t got no clue about.”

 

“I know _enough!_ ” Tonia spat, trying to get her arms free. “I know about _Beth_.”

 

“Ya don’t know _shit_ ,” he growled. “Ya known us for all of a couple’a months and ya think ya know it all, _don’t_ ya little girl...ya know _fuck_ about us.”

 

Daryl enclosed his arms tighter around the woman he loved, trying to protect her with his body. She was shaking against him and her tears had soaked through his shirt but he didn’t know what to do to help her. He was torn between his need to protect her and his need to deal with the blonde woman who had charmed her way into their family. He’d been so foolish to fall for the lies she’d spun him, and it was only now that he realised she had only used him and Tara to get closer to Carol.

 

His heart hammered inside his chest as he fought to keep his own tears at bay. Whatever had happened out there with Lizzie had weighed down so heavily on the woman in his arms, and because he’d been so blind by his own damn pain, he hadn’t seen it.

 

“It’s okay,” he murmured, his words disappearing into Carol’s hair. “Gonna be okay.”

 

“How can you say that?” Tonia asked, her eyes wild with frustration as she tried in vain to free her wrists from the zip ties securing her to the chair. “ _Look_ at her. She’s not okay.”

 

“Shut yer _damn_ mouth,” Daryl growled, wanting nothing more than to lash out at her. He needed to get Carol out of this room and get her away from the other woman, but she was holding onto him so tight, he was reluctant to let her go.

 

“I _won’t_ ,” Tonia hissed back, moving her shoulders almost violently to try and free herself. “ _You_ can’t stop me…”

 

“ _Shut up_ …” the words were muffled and laced with pain as Carol slowly started to move. Pushing herself backwards, she lifted her head to focus on Daryl’s shirt, unable to look him in the eyes. Swiping at the wetness on her cheeks, she took a shaky breath and chanced a brief glance upwards, unsure of what she was going to see in his gaze. She had killed a child, and some crimes were unforgivable, even in this new world.

 

Daryl’s fingers skimmed her cheek before he tilted her face fully upwards to meet her watery eyes. He gasped when he saw the pain etched in those deep blue orbs and all he wanted to do was pull her back into his chest and hold her there forever. Whatever the reasons behind Lizzie’s death, he knew she carried it with her. He could see it, even more so now.

 

Tonia huffed out an exasperated breath and tried to yank her wrists free. Frustration coursed through her and despite the fear that had filtered through her a short time ago, all she could see was Carol and her need to be with her. “ _Carol_ …you can't believe him... _please_...”

 

The moment the words left Tonia’s lips, she could feel the shift in the room. One moment the older woman was close to Daryl, allowing him to offer her whatever comfort he could, and the next…

 

Tonia’s eyes flared with shock when Carol moved, lunging for her discarded knife before either of them knew what was happening. Daryl fell backwards with the force of her movements, his shoulders hitting the wall beside his crossbow. It clattered onto the floor beside him, and he watched the scene play out before him in slow motion, powerless to stop it.

 

The knife slammed into Tonia’s shoulder, causing the woman to scream out in pain. Tears coursed over her cheeks and she started to shake when Carol yanked the knife out of her flesh to wield it closer to her throat.

 

“I _told_ you to _shut_ up,” she seethed. “And now you’re bleeding all over my _fucking_ floor.”

 

“I’m sorry…”

 

“You’re _sorry?_ ” Carol hissed, chuckling mirthlessly as she waved the blade in the air towards the young blonde’s face. “I should have _killed_ you when I had the chance.”

 

Behind them, Daryl was frozen in place. He was watching the scene before him unfold like some kind of horror movie. The woman he loved was deadly; he already knew that...but seeing her now, so entranced by her rage...she left him feeling a mixture of pride and fear. If she did this...if she ended Tonia’s life right here, he was afraid he would finally lose her to the dark chasm that had threatened to swallow her whole not so long ago.

 

“Carol,” Daryl shifted and got to his feet, stepping towards her as he spoke. “Ya don’t have to do this. We can send her back to the kingdom and let Zeke deal with her.”

 

“We tried that and she came back,” Carol’s voice was low and controlled, and there was no sign of the tears from before. “She _won’t_ stop.”

 

“I _will_ ,” Tonia sobbed, shaking her head. “I will... _I’ll_ leave you alone…”

 

Shaking her hand, Carol glared at the younger woman who was sobbing, begging for her to believe her this time. The blade of the knife grazed Tonia’s pale throat, close to where the tip had made its mark a few hours before.

 

“Carol... _don’t_ do this.”

 

Daryl’s words pierced the fog that Carol was immersed in and she suddenly withdrew the knife away when the realisation struck her. “Why are you defending her?”

 

“I’m not,” Daryl told her softly as he edged a little closer. “Just…”

 

“Oh _god_ …” Carol’s voice wavered as she kept her gaze focused on him. Her eyes filled with tears again, the welling droplets threatening to spill out over her cheeks. Lowering the knife she stepped backwards, shaking her head from side to side. “It’s _all_ true...what she said... _it’s_ true…”

 

“No,” Daryl’s own eyes sparked with fear when he saw the devastation in her. “No, it ain’t.”

 

“I was _out_ there…” her lips trembled, and her whole body seemed to be shaking when she moved further back. Her face contorted with anguish and disbelief as the first tear tumbled over her cheek. “I was...trying to keep the girls... _safe_...and _you_...you were...with _her_...oh _god_ …”

 

“Carol, no...no it weren’t like that…” moving towards her, Daryl ached to hold her, to erase all of the fears she’d allowed to fester inside her head. He glanced briefly towards Tonia who was becoming paler by the second. He needed to get her out of here, but that meant leaving Carol alone, and he couldn’t leave her...he wouldn’t.

 

“And then Lizzie...she...she…wasn’t right...” swiping at her face, Carol took a shuddering breath and closed her eyes. “We were only gone for a few minutes...that’s all...and then…”

 

“Carol...sweetheart…”

 

Carol’s eyes sprang open and she focused on the man she loved, caught between sorrow and devastation. “She killed her, Daryl...she stabbed Mika to death while we were gone...and if we had been just a few seconds later...she was going to kill Judith too…”

 

Daryl’s eyes flared with horror. The tears that had been building slowly tumbled over his cheeks and he couldn’t stay away any longer. She needed him, and when he stepped closer he thought she was going to accept his embrace but instead she took a step backwards.

 

“It _had_ to be me...I loved her...and Tyreese...he couldn’t…I killed her, Daryl...” her face crumbled as she sobbed out the words. “I shot that little girl in the back of her head... _me_...I did that…”

 

“He shouldn’t have let you do it,” he told her. “If I’d have been there…”

 

“But you weren’t,” she shook her head, swiping at the tears that coursed over her cheeks. “Did you even think about me at all…when Rick...did you even _try?_ ”

 

“Of course _I_ did,” he wailed helplessly, waving his arm around with frustration. “But then the governor tore a fuckin’ hole in the wall and we all had to run...didn’t have any damn time to think of anythin’. I thought y’all were all dead.”

 

“Well _I_ wasn’t.”

 

“I’m sorry,” his voice broke when he moved closer, crying just as much as she was. “I thought everyone was dead...that’s why I was gonna stay with Beth, not because of anythin’ else...I didn’t think a her like that...not like…”

 

“I thought I wasn’t ever going to see you again…and when I did...” shaking her head, she clamped her eyes shut and tried to pull herself back together. Visions of Beth swirled around inside her head and she knew it shouldn’t matter anymore, but it did. Opening her eyes again she allowed the tears to fall unchecked as she focused on his face. She loved him so much...how could things have gotten so messed up? Glancing at the woman who was now silently watching them, she gestured towards her with a resignated sigh. “Take her to the kingdom.”

 

“Carol…”

 

Stepping backwards she held her hand up to stop him moving closer and shook her head. “Just...take her…”

 

“I ain’t goin’ nowhere ‘till I know yer still gonna be here when I get back,” he told her, ignoring her attempts to push him away. “I ain’t gonna lose ya cuz of some fucked up girl who thinks she can come here spouting her shit.”

 

“Where am I going to go?” she sniffed, raising her arms in exasperation. “I don’t belong anywhere anymore.”

 

“Ya belong with me,” he told her, his voice breaking as he reached for her to yank her body tightly against his own. She was trembling against him, keeping one of her arms outstretched as she still clutched the knife tightly in her hand. “Ya belong with me.”

 

She sobbed softly, moving closer to hold him flush against her for a few moments before she slowly started to pull away again. Lifting her tear filled eyes to his she nodded in answer to his silent question and stepped out of his embrace.

 

“Take her to the kingdom...I’ll be here when you get back…”

 

Reaching for her again, Daryl grasped hold of her hand and squeezed her fingers. So many words rolled around inside his head, and he ached to take every single doubt she had and burn it away with his touch. When he got back, he intended to lock the door and talk things through. They needed to get everything out in the open, no more secrets between them. Taking the knife from her offered hand, he caressed her fingers before he stepped away and cut through the ties that bound Tonia’s hands together.

 

“Thank you…” Tonia sobbed, clinging onto his arm as he helped her to stand. Turning her eyes onto the woman who was watching her with hatred in her eyes, Tonia just nodded and whispered a soft apology before she followed Daryl towards the door. She watched as he stooped to pick up his crossbow before he looked back towards Carol, a silent goodbye passing between them.

 

“Don’t come back here,” Carol’s voice broke through the silence when Daryl pulled the door open. Both Tonia and Daryl turned to look at her as she moved towards them, retrieving her knife from where Daryl had placed it on the chair. “If you do, it won’t be your arm I cut next time.”

 

“C’mon,” Daryl urged, his gravelled voice reaching out to the young blonde when she trembled, her hand holding onto the doorframe for support. Grasping hold of her elbow he pulled her roughly with him, taking her out into the sunshine before she could even formulate another apology.

 

Carol watched them leave, turmoil coursing through her entire body. She’d blurted her secret and now Daryl was gone. He knew what she was now, and she wouldn’t blame him if he decided not to come back to her after all. She’d murdered a child, shot her down in cold blood and now that was all he would see when he looked at her. Moving towards the door she pushed it closed and laid her forehead against the cool wood before she slid the bolts across. With a heavy sigh she turned around and moved towards the discarded chair, lifting it to replace it back under the table with the others. Looking down at the crimson stain that had spread over a large patch on the rug, Carol worked on autopilot as she walked into the kitchen. She wasn’t a stranger to scrubbing blood out of carpets and clothes, and this time it would be no different. This time, would be the last.

 

000

 

“I’m sorry…”

 

“Just walk,” Daryl growled, pulling Tonia along behind him.

 

“I didn’t mean to hurt her,” she tried again, her feet stumbling over the stones and debris that littered the ground. “I…”

 

Stopping suddenly, Daryl yanked on her arm and pulled her around to face him, his face contorted with seething fury. “What the _fuck_ did ya think would happen huh? Ya thought she’d run off into the _damn_ sunset with ya?”

 

“No...I…”

 

“Stupid _bitch_ ,” he growled before he started moving again, yanking her behind him only to come to a stop once more. Looking around them he pushed her sideways, taking them out of the sight of some errant walkers that were fumbling through the trees. Putting his finger to his lips, he nodded towards their left, indicating for her to move but she seemed to be frozen in fear.

 

One walker floundered into the tree they were behind, and despite holding onto Tonia’s arm, the terrified woman yanked out of his grasp and fell onto the ground with a yelp. Before Daryl could reach for her she was on her feet and moving backwards, her eyes flitting between Daryl and the three descending walkers that were drawn by the noise.

 

“C’mon,” he growled as he tried to reach for her but she stood stock still, shaking her head from side to side. With a frustrated hiss, Daryl lifted his crossbow and quickly dispatched three arrows into each of the walkers; watching when the creatures fell to the floor in a silent heap. “What the _fuck_ do ya think yer doin’?”

 

“I’ve...I never had to do it myself...I…”

 

“If we stay around here yer gonna draw more f’em here,” he groused, bending to retrieve his arrows from each of the walkers heads. “Ya bleedin’ all over too. We gotta move.”

 

This time when he walked forward, she followed him, stumbling behind him and holding her free hand over her shoulder. The wound stung and the coppery smell of her own blood filled her nose, making her nauseous. She had gone to Carol’s house to try and reason with her...to declare her love and...and what...she had been a fool to think that a woman like Carol could want her. The older woman oozed love from every pore, she’d seen it from the first moment she’d laid eyes on her at Alexandria. The way she had people instantly warming to her...her smile...her confidence…

 

“Tell her, I really am sorry,” Tonia’s voice caused Daryl to glance back at her, but she could tell by the anger still present in his eyes that he didn’t really believe her. “Daryl…”

 

“We’re almost at the kingdom,” he told her, ignoring her attempts to make him see she was telling the truth. “Ya can tell the king what ya tried ta do to me’n Carol. He can decide what ta do with ya.”

 

“He loves her, Carol...you know that?” Tonia’s voice wavered as they moved closer to the compound, but still he wouldn’t stop.

 

“So yer tryin’ ya shit with me now?” he growled, shooting her a glare. “Ya tryin’ to make _me_ believe Carol and Zeke had a thing huh...so ya can’t win ‘bout Beth so now yer tryin’ Zeke...un- _fuckin’_ believable!”

 

“No...no, I’m not.”

 

“Sure the _fuck_ feels like it!” Daryl snapped, yanking his arm out of her grasp when she tried to touch him.

 

“When you tell him,” she started, her pleas falling on deaf ears. “He’ll send me away.”

 

“Good.”

 

“Please…” she tried again, but all he offered her was silence. The wound on her arm had stopped bleeding profusely, but her fingers were covered in her own blood when she followed behind him.

 

When they approached the large gates, Daryl took out another two walkers before the gates slowly swung open. He nodded to Jerry who looked at him questioningly, before he pushed Tonia inside.

 

“Need to see the king,” Daryl told him, keeping his stride as he grabbed hold of Tonia’s arm and dragged her along with him.

 

“Is everything okay?” Jerry asked him worriedly when he started to walk beside the man he now regarded as his friend. “Is Carol okay?”

 

“She’s fine,” Daryl replied curtly, as he nodded his head towards the woman who was trailing her feet beside him. “No thanks ta her.”

 

“But, Carol’s good right?” Jerry asked cautiously as he eyed the blonde woman with suspicion. “She’s not hurt?”

 

Despite the anger warring inside him, Daryl couldn’t help but adhere to the large man who had a deep affection for the woman they both adored. Glancing at the man beside him, Daryl nodded his head, and offered him a half grin as they entered the king’s private chamber. “She’s good.”

 

 

000

 

A few hours later, Carol was back in the garden when Daryl approached. Her eyes lifted warily when he moved closer and she sat back on her heels to watch him when he pushed the gate open.

 

“Hey…” her voice sounded foreign to her own ears as she lowered her eyes, unsure if she was ready to see the disappointment in his.

 

“Hey.”

 

They were both silent for a long moment, neither of them knowing how to proceed from this kind of stalemate they’d found themselves in. Daryl reached behind him to slide the latch across the gate before he turned back around to watched her. His heart ached for her; his need to touch her overpowering every other thought. Taking a step closer, he swallowed at the lump in his throat and reached down to rest a hand on her shoulder. His eyes stung with tears when she dropped the hand trowel she’d been holding to the floor, and crumbled before him, covering her face with her hands as she quietly sobbed.

 

He was on his knees beside her in seconds, pulling her against his chest. He pressed his lips into her hair, whispering soothing words that seemed to come out of his mouth from nowhere. He’d never been the kind of man who knew all of the right things to say; and he’d never had a woman he’d ever wanted to try for before. This woman brought so many emotions out of him that he’d never known had existed before her…she was it... _the_ one...that other part of him that was missing...she was everything.

 

“Let’s go inside,” he whispered against her ear when he shifted to pull both of them up from the floor. “Gonna be alright.”

 

Wordlessly she clutched his offered hand, lacing their fingers together as she followed him back into the house. This was it...make or break...forgive or say goodbye...whatever happened from now on, Carol knew that if he decided he couldn’t be with her now that he knew...then she would survive just like she always had...alone.

 

tbc


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNINGS for this chapter. Tiny mentions of implied rape and child abuse. Very, very minute but just in case, please read with care

Daryl eased Carol down onto the sofa and knelt onto the floor in front of her. Reaching for her hands, he rubbed his palms against her fingers, trying to transfer some of his body heat into her. She was so quiet, and so defeated, he didn’t know what else to do. Only a few hours ago they had been so happy. Both of them were settled and comfortable with living together in this little house...but that all fell away the second Tonia came back to inject her poison into the woman before him.

 

He knew too that blurting out the secrets she’d carried, had been all too much for her already fragile heart. She had been teetering on the edge of despair for such a long time, and he only hoped that it wasn’t too late to pull her back from the darkness that threatened to swallow her whole. He couldn’t lose her now, not when they had come so far. His love for her had grown in intensity over the last few years, and now that they had consummated that love, he couldn’t let her go.

 

“Talk to me,” he urged, his soft voice pulling her out of her self degradation. _“Please...”_

 

“I...don’t know how…” shaking her head, she closed her eyes, and the pressure of her closed lids caused her welling tears to spill over onto her cheeks.

 

“Yeah ya do,” he whispered, squeezing her fingers tighter between his hands. “I wanna know everythin’. No more hidin’ behind secrets or our pasts. We can tell each other anythin’ can’t we? Ain’t that what people who love each other are supposed ta do?”

 

Carol’s eyes slowly opened and she focused on him through a watery gaze. His concern almost toppled her; she didn’t deserve to be looked upon with so much devotion, but she couldn’t help take all he had to offer, because she loved him so much. Taking a breath, she started to speak, releasing one of the secrets she had never told anyone else before.

 

“Ed...he...,” shaking her head, she gasped in a breath and clung onto his hands. She was trying so hard to speak of the past that still weighed so heavily upon her. “He didn’t _just_ beat me...he did... _other_ things…”

 

Daryl nodded knowingly and held onto her, squeezing her fingers in reassurance while inside he quietly seethed. He’d known the truth, of course he had...he’d seen that spark of fear in her eyes when they’d made love for the very first time. He could see the hesitation so clearly right now, as if she feared that one particular secret would be the catalyst for him to leave her. Didn’t she know by now that he carried so much baggage of his own? He trusted her more than he’d ever trusted anyone else in his life. She was the one person he could spill his secrets to, no matter how dark and twisted they were. She wouldn’t judge him, and she knew more than anyone how it felt to be a victim of someone who was supposed to love you. Taking a shuddered breath, he lifted himself a little higher on his knees, desperately trying to silence the swell of anguish that almost prevented him from opening up to her. Lifting his eyes to hers, he hesitated for just a few moments, terrified of what he would see in her eyes once she knew. Opening his mouth, he faltered, fear and the past gripping hold of him so tight. Taking a shaky breath, he lowered his eyes. He wanted to tell her but shame stopped him before he could get the words out.

 

“I’m here,” she told him as gently as she could, clutching his fingers as she spoke. “Nothing you tell me will go further than this room, you know that right?”

 

“...I do...it’s just…”

 

“I love you,” she whispered, her voice rough with tears when images of what she thought he was going to tell her, played around inside her mind. “Whatever you’re trying to tell me...I think I know what it is...and...he’s gone, Daryl. He can’t hurt you again.”

 

“He was a bastard, ma daddy,” he all but whispered, keeping his gaze averted from hers. His eyes filled with shameful tears that welled there before spilling over onto his cheeks “Ya...ya saw the book I took from that shelter?”

 

Sniffing back the tears, Carol nodded silently and sat forward just a little more so she could smooth his hair away from his eyes. Her own tears rolled wet tracks over her already flushed cheeks. When he was finding it hard to speak, she moved even closer, pressing her forehead against his.

 

“He...didn’t _just_ beat me...either…” he half sobbed, the words coming out in a rushed whisper. “That _fuckin’_ asshole...I _hated_ him... _I…_ ”

 

“I’m here...honey, I’m here,” she told him brokenly, sobbing out the words, over and over, while she poured her love into him until he fell against her shoulder.

 

They were both silent for a long moment, shaking from dried tears and shattering secrets, both of them reeling over each others heartbreaking words. Carol had so many buried insecurities, demons that were put there by Ed and his acid tongue...and Daryl had suffered just as much as she had. The secrets they shared were only the tip of the iceberg, she knew that because she had so many still buried deep inside...but before she could clamp down on her words, they spilled out of her anyway, along with a fresh sheen of tears.

 

“I...spent the _whole_ of Sophia’s life living in fear,” she told him brokenly, remembering her little girl’s beautiful smile. “I didn’t sleep while _he_ was in the house...I didn’t like the way her _looked_ at her.”

 

“ _I_ didn’t fight,” he whispered, his voice haunted with the long buried memories. “ _He_ beat me harder if I did.”

 

Nodding in understanding, Carol shifted even closer, wrapping herself around him. “Ed kept _hitting_ until I cried... _I_ learned to cry after the first punch...but...after a while, he just kept going…regardless whether I cried or not.”

 

“Hey…” Daryl’s eyes were swimming with tears when he lifted his head and held her watery gaze. “They’re gone…can’t hurt us no more.”

 

“I _should_ have stabbed him in his sleep,” she muttered, shaking her head in self loathing. “But I just kept…”

 

“Lotta things we both shoulda done,” he told her in a broken whisper. “But the two’f em got what was comin’ to ‘em...in the end…”

 

“They can’t hurt us anymore,” she told him, nodding her head as she spoke. “They’re gone…”

 

“Yeah…” leaning into her shoulder, he sighed against her before he spoke the soft, worrying words that he knew were going to bring more heartbreak out of her. “But it ain’t just him or what he did, is it?”

 

Carol’s emotions flared and the tears that had slowly dried were suddenly back. Her eyes welled as she battled with the most recent atrocities she had committed. Daryl was a good man...he’d shared his darkest secret with her. He trusted her enough to entrust her with something that had haunted him for so long, and he didn’t even know that the secrets she kept were so much darker than anything he could have imagined. He loved her...and she couldn’t let him throw his life away on her until he knew it all...and then if he decided to leave...she knew it would be because of her, and the darkness staining her soul.

 

“I told Ty...it was _me_... _I_ was the one...and I gave him my gun...told him to...do what he had to...” she managed to force out the words before her voice gave out completely. The sorrow seemed to engulf her then, the spilling of so many secrets resulting in another onslaught of tears.

 

“Hey…” within seconds he lifted his head and was pulling her into his chest, holding onto her so tightly that he could feel the vibrations of her sobs coursing through his body. Her tears broke him, they always had. He hated to see her cry and be so full of despair. Didn’t she know by now that all of these things she’d done, she didn’t do them because she was some evil, fucked up monster...she’d kept the people she loved safe...she’d kept her _family_ safe.

 

Lifting himself even higher onto his knees, he lowered his mouth to her ear, peppering soft kisses against her temple. Whispered words of love that only made her cry harder, but he held onto her so tight. So many times she had been his rock; the strong one who wouldn’t let him pull away. Now it was his turn to be that for her. He’d never felt this way before. He’d never felt so completely helpless, or so completely in love with another human being, before her. All of those old love songs he never used to understand, seemed to spring into his mind. They burst into his thoughts and before he knew it, he was rolling romantic quotes around inside his head. This woman had done that to him. She had taken the angry, no hoper, stilted redneck that he was, and she’d turned him into the man he was now. Because of her he had a family; a real one this time. He had brother’s and a feeling of belonging that he’d never had before. But most importantly he had love; her love.

 

“I...killed...Lizzie…”

 

“I know,” he whispered when her sobs rocked into his own body. “But ya saved her. Don’t ya see? Ya saved her and everyone else because ya did what needed to be done.”

 

She shook her head against his chest, her sobs becoming deeper and so distraught that he just held onto her tighter.

 

“Ya did,” he soothed as his hand came up to cradle her head against his shoulder. “That girl couldn’ta survived this world like she was...and because ya loved her, ya did what had ta be done to help her...and ya stopped her from hurting little Asskicker too.”

 

“Not...Mika…”

 

“I know sweetheart, I know...but that little girl ain’t gotta suffer this world no more. She’s up there with yer girl, both of’em...and Lizzie too...they’re all there because ya loved em…”

 

“I’ll...I’ll never see them again…” her words were broken, her heartbreak reaching out to him. Shifting even closer, she clung onto him with a vice like grip and he let her. He took her sorrow and tried to replace it with reassurance and loving words that he hoped she would believe.

 

“Ya will...when it’s yer time…”

 

“No…” shaking her head against him, hiccupping out the words. “I’m...going to...hell…”

 

“ _No_ ,” his voice hissed through his lips, and even though he’d tried so hard to keep his own emotions in check, her deep, sorrowful belief that she was some evil monster, finally shattered what little resolve he had left. His eyes flooded with fresh tears and he clung onto her just as tightly as she did him. “No…”

 

“I am…”

 

“ _No_ ,” he growled as he untangled himself from her arms and pushed her back so that he could look down at her. His fingers tightened around her forearms, keeping her in place while he ducked his head to see her eyes. “Y’ain’t goin’ to hell...ya ain’t...cuz yer one a the most lovin’ people I’ve even known… and if we lose each other...I can’t believe I’ll never find ya...so _don’t_...don’t ever say that... _please_ don’t…”

 

Opening her eyes, she lifted her head to look at him. When she saw the tears coursing over his cheeks, and looking so distraught, she couldn’t stop another sob from escaping her lips.

 

“I...love...ya, _so_ much…” he managed, before his voice broke completely. Loosening his grip on her arms, he allowed her to surged back towards him. She fell against him with such a force that she almost toppled both of them backwards and onto the floor. They clung to each other, both consumed with so much pain from the past, on their knees and completely oblivious to anything else around them.

 

“I...love you…” she sobbed against his ear. _“I love...you…I love...you…”_

 

Turning his head he kissed her temple, her cheek, her chin, until their seeking mouths met in a clash of desperate kisses. Opening his mouth, he sought her out, his tongue sliding against hers as their frantic hands tugged at each other’s clothes. They both moved blindly, seeking out the comfort that they could only get from each other.

 

Falling backwards, Carol pulled him down with her, crying and kissing him at the same time. Shifting his body, he half rolled on top of her, kissing her with deep, open mouthed kisses that overtook the sobs to replace them with soft mewling groans. Daryl shifted between her parted legs, his body acting on instinct as he rubbed his hardness against her. The two of them were lost in each other, lips and bodies clashing together until Carol reached down between them to fumble with his belt buckle.

 

Daryl broke their kiss with a gasp, his wet eyes seeking out hers before he pushed her fingers away to hastily unbuckle the belt and push his jeans and underwear over his hips. Carol shoved at her own restricting garments, slipping them awkwardly over her thighs before she lifted her hips slightly so that Daryl could push them past her knees. Within moments he moved over her, his swollen member finding her slick core. He pushed into her with one fluid movement, both of them gasping at the intensity. He moved slowly at first, his lower limbs restricted by his jeans that were still tangled around his knees. Carol gasped as she welcomed him into her body, meeting his thrusts with her own. Parting her thighs as much as she could, she reached around to grasp his ass, urging him to go faster.

 

The tears they’d both shed gave way to something else...something that replaced the sorrow and despair with the rich, deep, intense love that they had found within each other in this desolate world. Gasps filled the room when Daryl quickened his pace, thrusting into her body with near desperation. Within seconds she cried out beneath him, her release pulsating around him until the shockwaves tore through his body, spurring his own orgasm to follow hers. He shook with the intensity of both love and passion, allowing those feelings to quash the sorrow that had lead to this frenzied coupling. They were both still clothed, neither of them taking the time to make love with the slow, beautiful worshipping of each other. This release was something different, it was sorrow and pain, love and need, every single emotion all rolled into one, but it was something they had both needed so badly.

 

Their lips met once more, their kisses much slower this time. They kissed for a few more moments before he slowly pulled back to smile down at her. He brushed his fingers over her hair, smoothing the sweat slickened strands away from her face.

 

“Y’okay?” he whispered as he lowered his lips to hers once more, kissing her once, twice, before pulling back to see her reassuring nod.

 

Lifting himself up, Daryl pulled out of her and shifted his body before he reached down to pull his jeans and underwear back up his body. He should have felt a little embarrassed with the way they had just lost themselves in the moment...but when he watched Carol’s delicate fingers pull her own clothes back into place, he knew without a doubt that they had both needed this, just like it happened. Moving onto his knees, he reached out a hand to pull her upright and wrapped his arms tightly around her body. They were no longer sobbing, and the tears they’d both shed had been replaced with this calm acceptance. He loved this woman with every ounce of love he possessed, and he knew he would tell her every single day if it eased her pain.

 

Getting to his feet, he pulled her up with him and maneuvered them towards the sofa. They sat down heavily, holding onto each other, both reluctant to draw away. Shifting back so he was flush against the sofa cushions, Daryl lifted his arm a little higher so that she could move closer to him. She willingly followed, seeking his comfort. Laying against him, she buried her head beneath his chin and breathed in his scent. The cloud of pain that had covered her soul had eased just a little. Now that he knew her secrets, he hadn’t fled from her like she thought he would. Instead he had given her nothing but his love. He’d cried with her, felt the anguish of loss right alongside her, and still he’d stayed. After everything, he was still here, loving her with his quiet intensity that had brought them to seek each other out only a short time ago.

 

She had never had sex that way before, so completely consumed with need. They had brought each other to completion without any of the gentle touches they were accustomed to now...and even though she had found a fast release with him, she didn’t want sex with him to be like that again. She loved him...more than she had ever loved any other man. She wanted their slow, leisurely explorations. She wanted them to be naked and slick with sweat...she wanted to see all of him at once and know that she had been the one to bring him to the brink every single time. Squeezing her arm tightly around his waist, she kissed his chest before she lifted her head to peer up at him.

 

“I wish...I’d met you instead of Ed,” she whispered, holding onto him so tightly. “I wish Sophia had been ours.”

 

Daryl closed his eyes and clung to her, squeezing her against him as he buried his fingers into her hair. “Me too...wish we didn’t waste so much time, either...I shoulda…”

 

“We’re together now,” she told him, punctuating each word with soft kisses against the underside of his chin. “But...now you know what I did…if...”

 

“Love ya more,” he told her fiercely, cutting of her doubtful words before they could take hold. “Love ya even more now I know...ain’t gotta worry anymore, okay. No one’s gonna come and try to hurt ya…”

 

Lowering her eyes, Carol swallowed at the lump in her throat before she lowered her head back into the curve of his shoulder. She had acted blindly with Tonia, allowing her grief to mix with rage and despair, and shown herself to be the dangerous monster that she knew already existed inside her.

 

“Did you tell Ezekiel?” she asked softly, her voice muffled into his chest. “Did you tell him what I did?”

 

“Ya didn’t do nothin’ that bitch didn’t deserve,” he told her, his gruff voice disappearing into her hair. “She came here to stir shit.”

 

“She thought she loved me,” she sighed, her breath puffing through her lips. “She didn’t even know me...and she still…”

 

“Hey, she was fucked up. Nothin’ to do with whatever feelin’s she thought she had for ya. Can’t blame yerself for that.”

 

“But I stabbed her,” she whispered, closing her eyes against the memory of the knife slamming into Tonia’s flesh. “That was me... _I_ did that.”

 

“And ya gave her plenty a warnin’s. She didn’t listen to anythin’ ya had to say,” he told her as he pressed soft kisses into her hair. “Stupid bitch even tried to spout some shit about Zeke wantin’ ta get in yer pants.”

 

“ _What?_ ” Pulling herself upright, Carol met his eyes with a mixture of shock and despair. “He’s my friend...even when I didn’t want him to be... _how_ could she…”

 

“Hey, it don’t matter no more what she said, me an’ you, that’s all that matter’s now,” he told her, lifting his fingertips to skim over her cheek. “She ain’t gonna be comin’ back here anymore.”

 

Nodding her head, Carol sighed and nestled back against his body, content to listen to his heartbeat thrumming beneath her ear. No matter how many times she had tried to make this place a home, it held the stench of intrusion now. This had been her safe haven, her place to fix all of those parts of her that were broken...but Tonia had tarnished it with her presence. Closing her eyes, she held onto him, seeking out the love that he always gave her. She loved him, enough to know that she would try, for him. When she remained silent against him, she felt him shift a little and incline his head.

 

“Yer quiet” he murmured into her hair as he skimmed his thumb across her fingers on his thigh. “What’re ya thinkin’?”

 

“Nothing...just,” pulling herself upwards, she leaned towards him and pressed her lips against his in a brief kiss before she moved back a little to capture his gaze. “Do you like it here? Just the two of us, I mean?”

 

“What?” he asked in surprise. “Course I like it here...wouldn’t be here if I didn’t.”

 

“But you miss Rick and the other’s...I know you do.”

 

“Can live with not seeing Rick,” he told her softly as he lifted his fingers to smooth an errant strand of hair away from her eyes. “An’ I can live with not seein’ anyone else back home...I tried livin’ there without ya once before, so if yer tryin’ to make me leave, then…”

 

“No,” shaking her head, she lifted her hand to cradle his face in her palm. “That’s not it...I…”

 

“What?” he urged, turning his head to kiss her palm. “Carol?”

 

“If we went back...if we take the house Rick offered us,” swallowing hard, she searched his eyes as she lowered her hand back against his chest. “I don’t want to lose what we have here...I don’t want to risk losing...us…”

 

“But...I thought ya liked it here…”

 

“I did...I…” shaking her head, she released a frustrated sigh before she tried again. “I was so angry at Rick for so long...and then so much has happened in between it all, you know...and then I thought we could be happy here, just the two of us.”

 

“Hey, we still can,” he told her, worry seeping through his words when she looked so conflicted.

 

“I can’t do that to you,” she told him softly as she reached up to lay her hand over his cheek once more. “I know how much Rick and the other’s mean to you...and it’s so selfish of me to want to keep you here.”

 

“I don’t wanna be anywhere else,” he told her firmly, laying his hand over hers on his face. “I love ya too much to…”

 

“I love you, too,” her voice broke through his words and she held his gaze when she leant in a little closer. “That’s why we need to go back…”

 

“Carol…”

 

“No, it’s okay, really it is…” she told him with a tearful smile as she lowered her hand to rest it against his stomach. “I want to be with you, and...I want to be with them, too...but I still want us to be together. Share a house, a bed, everything that we have here...I...just…”

 

“Is it cuz a her?” he asked her then, his voice low and silken when he pulled her against his chest again. Inclining his head, he buried his lips into her hair and nuzzled her soft strands before he spoke again. “Ya know whatever she said to ya was a load a bullshit...she’s gone...ain’t ever comin’ back here.”

 

“I know,” she sighed, tightening her hold on him. “But she was here, and she’s made it feel...I _feel_ violated...she’s been in _our_ home and now it reeks of her.”

 

Daryl leaned further back against the cushions, taking her with him. Yes he missed their family and the bustle of everyday life. He missed having a purpose. He missed being important to some degree...but he loved her...and no matter how much their lives had merged and grown over the years, he wanted what they had now, to last forever.

 

“Rick said there’s a house for us,” she spoke again when his silence filled the room. “And I told him I was done being a babysitter and a cook…”

 

“Bet that went well,” he chuckled, the rumble in his chest causing her to lift her head and smile up at him.

 

“Oh yeah,” she smiled despite the heaviness in her heart. “I thought he was gonna cry all over me!”

 

“Pfft…” he chortled. “I’d a liked to have seen that!”

 

“But...he was sincere,” she told him on a sigh, all traces of mirth gone. “He wants us to go home.”

 

Daryl pondered on her words for a few silent moments before he glanced down at her. Her eyes were wet and puffy from all of the tears she’d cried, but he still thought she was the most beautiful woman he’d ever known. Leaning down, he kissed her forehead, her nose and then finally her lips, lingering over her for a few precious seconds before he pulled back again.

 

“I want what you want,” he whispered, his soft breath fanning her lips. “If ya wanna go back, we’ll go back...if ya wanna live at the Kingdom, we’ll go see Zeke tomorrow...hell even Hilltop if ya wanna live there. I don’t care where we go, just as long as we’re together.”

 

His words brought a fresh sheen of tears to her eyes and she could feel the surge of love that coursed its way right through her. Lifting herself up a little higher, she pressed her lips to his once more, pouring every ounce of love into the kiss. When they broke apart, both breathless and a little flushed, she sat back and grasped hold of his hand in hers.

 

“Come to bed with me…”

 

Daryl’s eyes flared with desire, and he knew he would give her anything she asked for. It was only late afternoon, the sun was still shining through the windows but he didn’t care about that. Shifting forward, he moved with her, the idea of spending hours in bed with her so much more appealing than anything else he could think of. So, getting to his feet, he allowed her to lead him, clutching onto her hand as they made their way back towards their bed...

 

 

TBC


	8. Chapter 8

Daryl awoke with a start. Blinking his eyes open, he glanced up at the lone beam of sunlight that streamed through the closed drapes. Carol was still asleep beside him, curled into his side. She had an arm splayed possessively across his stomach, and for a few moments he allowed himself to slip back into the blissful memory of the night they had shared together. He loved this woman...so, so much. He’d never thought that it was possible to be so connected to another person, or to want everything he did to be for her. He was prepared to live here with her for the rest of their lives, if that’s what she needed. He didn’t care that their family still lived in Alexandria, or that by being here they were isolated and open to the dangers of this world...as long as he was with her.

 

His eyes drank her in as she slept. The stresses of living with the guilt she still carried, eased away with sleep. She looked so serene lying here beside him. Fighting off the urge to move his head down to kiss her, he closed his eyes instead, deciding to rest beside her was the best way to start whatever time of day it was now. By the strip of sunlight streaming across their bed, he guessed it must be morning. When they’d come to bed, the afternoon light was just beginning to fade...and when they had finally fallen into an exhausted sleep after several hours of lovemaking, the light had given way to the encompassing darkness.

 

He knew they had so much more to talk about today. After yesterday, he was so sure she wanted to leave the sanctuary of their little house...but if they decided to go back, he knew that mornings like this would become far less frequent over time. They would be swallowed up by duty to the others, and he didn’t know if he was ready to share her with the rest of their family just yet. He was selfish for wanting to keep her all to himself...selfish and so desperately in love with her, that at times he couldn’t breathe with the intensity of it all.

 

A sound from outside the house caused his eyes to suddenly spring open once more. Holding his breath, he laid there for a few moments, listening for any repeat of the noise that had every one of his senses spiking. He couldn’t hear anything more, but the curiosity and the need to relieve himself had him easing his body away from the woman beside him. He tried to be as quiet as he could, intending to get dressed in the bathroom to give her a little more time in bed. She had been so tired, and not just because he’d worn her out last night...she had unloaded some heavy burdens, and the aftermath of it all had left her physically drained.

 

When he managed to slip out of bed without waking her, he stood there, naked and unashamed, gazing down at the woman he loved, still transfixed by her. Forcing himself to step away, he stooped down to pick his jeans up from the floor and slipped them on, pulling the material over his thighs. He kept his eyes on her the entire time, watching for any sign that his movements had disturbed her slumber...but she remained asleep throughout it all. Tearing his gaze from her sleeping face, he turned and moved towards the bedroom door, easing it open before stepping out into the hall. Pulling the door ajar behind him, he headed towards the bathroom, wondering how he got to be so lucky.

When he emerged from the tiny room, he shivered a little when the coolness in the house hit his naked torso. He hadn’t wanted to pull open any of the drawers that held his clean clothes inside. The wooden dresser was rickety and old, but the drawers tended to stick and make a grinding noise that would have surely woken her. So he’d opted for remaining shirtless until she awoke or he crawled back into bed beside her.

 

He was on his way towards the kitchen when he heard it, a hard rap of knuckles on their door. His first instincts were to ignore it, but whoever was outside their house was insistent, knocking again just a few seconds later. Moving towards his crossbow, he picked it up and held it in place as he slid the bolts across the wood with a loud thunk, and yanked the door open with a scowl looming on his face.

 

“Good afternoon, Daryl,” Ezekiel greeted, raising an eyebrow in amusement at the half dressed hunter. “I apologise for visiting unannounced.”

 

Lowering his bow, Daryl retained his disgruntled scowl and kept his eyes on the man who had been a good friend to Carol since she’d been here. He could almost see Carol’s raised eyebrow when he portrayed the jealous husband, and quickly pulled himself back a few steps. Sighing heavily, he placed the bow against the wall and stepped back to allow the king to enter. Behind Ezekiel, Daryl could see Jerry standing just inside the gate, waving at him with that big, infectious grin of his and he couldn’t help but return it. No matter what was happening in this fucked up world, the large man with an even larger heart, seemed to bring out the best in everyone he met.

 

“I was hoping to speak with Carol,” Ezekiel told him with a feigned smile as he gestured towards Daryl’s bare chest. “But I can see I have interrupted.”

 

Daryl eyed him curiously. He thought he saw a flash of jealousy in the other man’s eyes, something he’d seen there a few times before. He had no doubts that the eccentric leader held a certain amount of affection for the woman asleep in the other room, and the thought of that alone seemed to grate of Daryl’s every last nerve.

 

“Nah...we didn’t get to sleep ‘till late…” Daryl told him, unable to stop himself shooting the king a possessive glare. “Ma _wife’s_ still sleepin’.”

 

The use of the word wife wasn’t lost on Ezekiel, and he couldn’t help but notice how the man before him bristled slightly when he said it. He knew Carol was lost to him. It had taken him some time to realise that she had always been lost to him...he’d never stood a chance in her affections before or after the war.

 

“Then please, don’t let me keep you,” Ezekiel nodded graciously. “I merely came to inform you of our situation with the Tonia girl.”

 

“She told ya what she did?” Daryl asked, irritation easing its way back into his eyes. “She tell ya why Carol…”

 

“My friend, I would never think anything less of Carol. She holds a strength that I admire, and I know for her to inflict such a wound, the girl surely provoked the matter.”

 

Daryl eyed him dubiously, watching for any signs of the secret relationship that Tonia had tried to imply. It was clear that Ezekiel was very fond of Carol by the way he had acted when she’d been hurt. He was still trying to fathom the leader’s motives, still wary of him and the people he ruled around him. He was about to reply when he noticed Ezekiel's gaze shifting behind him, and he turned to see the woman he loved, standing in the centre of the room wearing nothing but his discarded shirt.

 

Daryl’s eyes drank her in, gliding over her body with gratifying need. The shirt stopped just above her knees, and the buttons barely kept the worn fabric together. His gaze lingered over her, dipping to the first button that enticingly covered the swell of her breast. Swallowing hard, Daryl shook himself out of his sex addled mind, she was just so beautiful. It took him all of a few seconds to realise that if she had this effect on him; someone who had worshipped the body beneath the shirt...then what effect was she having on a man who could only fantasise about it. Tearing his eyes from her, he turned sharply to look at the other man, narrowing his eyes.

 

“Zeke, what are you doing here?” she asked through a yawn as she approached them. If she noticed the testosterone flowing in the room, she made no comment on it.

 

Both men watched her in appreciation as she walked to Daryl’s side. She kept her focus on him as she moved. Lifting her eyes to her gruff looking redneck, she beamed up at him and slipped an arm around his waist, hugging herself into his side. “Why didn’t you wake me?”

 

All thoughts of Ezekiel flittered away the second Carol molded herself to him. The heat from her body soothed his senses, and he couldn’t think of anything but of how much he loved her.

 

“Wanted ya to sleep some more,” he told her, his voice taking on an intimate tone that caused the other man in the room to avert his eyes.

 

“Think we’ve spent enough time in bed,” she told him softly, smirking knowingly when she saw the heated blush flourishing over his cheeks. “And I’m hungry.”

 

“Ahh...yes, food…one of the reason’s I am here,” Ezekiel managed to say, forcing the words through his lips. He tried to ignore how the barely dressed couple seemed to be so in sync with each other. They portrayed two people who had been lovers, partners and best friends for many years.Watching the couple, he knew any feelings he may have felt for the beautiful woman would never be reciprocated. “We have brought you supplies from the kingdom. Fruits and some vegetables.”

 

“Thank you Zeke,” Carol told him with a smile as she tore herself from her lover’s gaze. “Do you want to stay for breakfast?”

 

“Unfortunately, I can not,” Ezekiel told her when he caught Daryl’s warning glare. “I have much to attend to today, but maybe you and Daryl could join me at the kingdom for a meal, some time.”

 

When Carol bristled slightly, Ezekiel could see how the man by her side held her a little tighter, as if he was trying to protect her from all the bad that was left in this world.

 

“I can assure you that the young woman who caused you so much distress was returned to Oceanside first thing this morning. She will not be returning to the kingdom, or here.”

 

“And if she does?” Daryl asked him, pulling Carol a little closer. “If she comes back here…”

 

“I have banished her,” Ezekiel assured the other man. “She has been warned there will be serious consequences if she returns. Mark my words, she will not return.”

 

For a few moments, Carol was reminded of the harsh words from the man who had banished her...a member of her own family no less. She remembered with perfect clarity how much that action had hurt her...how desolate she felt because of it all. Pushing those thoughts away, she forced herself to stop feeling any kind of pity for the woman who had been subjected to the same fate.

 

“Then, maybe we’ll come by the kingdom some time,” Carol nodded. “Thank you.”

 

Ezekiel bowed his head slightly, offering her a warm smile before he nodded towards the man by her side.

 

“I look forward to your company soon, my friends. Until then, I will instruct Jerry to leave our offerings to you outside your door. Stay well.”

 

Without waiting for a reply, Ezekiel stepped over the threshold and motioned for Jerry to bring the crate of fresh fruit and vegetables to their door. The larger man grinned happily, bounding towards the door to drop the heavy box onto the step before he waved enthusiastically at the couple still wrapped around each other.

 

“Hi Carol,” he beamed, his twinkling eyes bringing a smile onto her lips.

 

“Hello Jerry,” she couldn’t help but succumb to his jollity. He was such a huge presence, but the gentlest of them all. He’d proved to her time and time again that he was one of the good ones that had survived the cruelty of this world. “Thank you for the food.”

 

“I can take it through to your kitchen if you want me to,” he offered happily, eager to please the woman he had come to adore.

 

“I’ll take it,” Daryl nodded, moving away from Carol’s side to reach for the crate. Grasping hold of the handles, he adjusted to the weight and glanced briefly down to the woman by his side before he turned to carry the supplies towards the kitchen.

 

Jerry’s eyes followed his retreating form, noticing the scars that littered Daryl’s back. Without commenting, he smiled at Carol who was watching him curiously, as if she was waiting for him to comment on what he’d just seen, but he didn’t. Instead, he offered her a beaming smile and stepped backwards, resisting the urge to engulf her into a huge bear hug.

 

“Bye…”

 

“Goodbye Jerry,” Carol chuckled, her lips lifting into a wider smile when he turned back and waved at her. She watched them leave; her two dearest friends, and she wondered how exactly she was supposed to choose whether to stay here or return to Alexandria, now.

 

“Hey,” Daryl’s soft voice brought her out of her reverie, and she closed the door before sliding the bolts across.

 

“Hey,” she beamed, moving towards him with a tender smile. Reaching out to lay her hand over his chest, she moved into his aura. “So...I was wondering…”

 

“Hmmm…” he hummed, falling under her gravitational spell immediately. Moving closer, he wrapped his fingers around her hand on his chest. “Wonderin’ what?”

 

Carol’s other hand slipped around his waist, tugging him in closer. Lowering her head, she nestled beneath his chin and sighed contentedly. “So...we’ve got nowhere to be today…”

 

“Nope,” he smiled, joining her body in their gently sway. “Got the whole day…”

 

“I want food,” she hummed. “And then, I want to spend the whole day in bed with you…”

 

Daryl’s heart fluttered with her words...he couldn’t remember ever staying in bed for the whole day before, and he’d never spent as much time in a bed with a woman like he had with her. Inclining his head, he looked down to meet her hopeful smile, and he knew he could never deny her anything.

 

“All day?” he asked, his grin suddenly turning sultry.

 

“Yep...all day…”

 

“And what about tonight?” Bringing their joined hands to his lips, he placed a soft kiss into the centre of her palm, delighting in the flare of desire in her eyes.

 

“Then,” she whispered, her words full of seduction. “We spend all night in bed too…”

 

“Hmmm…” he rumbled, falling into her way of thinking. “Can’t think of a better way to spend our time.”

 

“So…” she sighed against him, happily sinking into his warmth.

 

“So…” he repeated her words, neither of them showing any sign of moving. Gliding his free hand across her shoulders, he lowered his lips to her hair and nuzzled her silken strands. “Go back to bed, I’ll bring breakfast…or dinner...whatever damn time a day it is...”

 

“You and food, in bed…” she beamed as she kissed his chest. “How can a girl refuse that offer…”

 

“Pfft...wait ‘till ya see what I bring ya first,” he scoffed as he slowly disentangled himself from her before he stepped away.

 

“Hmm...I’d settle just for you…” the amusement in her voice caused his face to flush, which was ridiculous because they had seen every inch of each other naked. When she turned, making her way back towards their bedroom, he almost abandoned the thought of finding food for them both to eat. His eyes followed her retreating form, wondering once more, how he could have gotten so lucky to have found the one woman he loved more than anything else in this whole damn world...but whatever happened from now on, he knew he would spend the rest of his life showing her how much he loved her.

 

000

 

Exactly eight weeks to the day that Carol had left Alexandria, unconscious and surrounded by her terrified family, she returned.

 

Feeling the apprehension creeping around her, Carol reached across to lay her hand on Daryl’s thigh as he drove their car through the heavy sliding gates. Reaching down, he squeezed her fingers reassuringly, before stopping the vehicle just inside.

 

“It’s gonna be okay,” he told her as he lifted their joined hands to his lips, pressing a soft kiss onto her knuckles. “And we’re not stayin’ until we see the house and lay out a few ground rules, remember?”

 

“I know,” she sighed. “It’s not that…”

 

“Then what?” he asked worriedly, tearing his eyes from her to see their family racing towards them.

 

“What do I tell Tara?”

 

“S’okay,” he assured her, nuzzling her fingers. “Rick said he’d take care’f it...gonna be fine.”

 

Carol focused on her family, all of them waiting impatiently for them to climb out of the car. Offering them a nervous smile, she turned back to the man she loved and took comfort from his reassuring touch before releasing him to open her door. She barely had one foot on the hard ground before Carl was on her. He waited for her to fully emerge, before crushing her into the tightest hug. He was so much taller than she remembered, now towering over her.

 

“You’re so tall,” she gasped. The emotion of the moment swept through her, surging a sheen of tears to gather in her eyes. “I’ve missed you, sweetheart.”

 

“Where did you go?” he whimpered, his soft voice reminding her of the little boy who used to look up at her with impossible blue eyes. “Dad said you weren’t coming home.”

 

“I’m here now,” she told him, half sobbing as she spoke. “It’s going to be okay.”

 

The young man who was holding her so tightly slowly started to move away, batting at the lone tear that littered his face. Stepping back, he reluctantly released her, moving away so that she could move to the next pair of arms that wrapped around her. Looking across to Daryl, Carl nodded his head, torn between wanting to hug his uncle but not wanting to get scowled at in the process...but to his surprise, Daryl offered him a delighted grin and pulled him into a one armed hug before releasing him just as quickly.

 

“She’s gonna be okay,” he told the younger man, nodding his assurance when Carl looked upon him with worried eyes. “She will.”

 

“I hope so,” Carl sighed, watching when Michonne tugged her into a tight embrace, both of them laughing as they came together. “You’re both staying now, right?”

 

Daryl tore his eyes away from the scene before him to focus on the man beside him. For all of these years, this boy had grown into a brave young man. He’d shown himself to be one of the strongest people throughout this whole damn apocalypse, but sometimes he reverted back to that scared little boy he’d met at the quarry.

 

“Maybe not right now,” Daryl told him, lowering his voice as he spoke. “But, when she’s ready...we’ll see…”

 

“But…” shaking his head, Carl blinked in confusion. “But, you’re going to stay for a few days though right?”

 

“Yeah,” Daryl nodded, unsure why the younger man was so desperate for them both to come home.

 

“It’s not the same with you both gone,” Carl’s voice came out in a rush. “Our family used to be so big, and it felt good to be with people I loved, but now…”

 

“Hey, kid, you’re surrounded by family here…”

 

“But it’s not the same,” shaking his head, Carl looked across at Carol, noting how she allowed herself to pulled into his father’s embrace. “She’s always been like...she’s the closest I had to a mom, and I…”

 

“I get it,” Daryl nodded, squeezing the younger man’s shoulder reassuringly. “She loves ya, she ain’t gonna be far away, okay.”

 

Before he could answer, Daryl caught Carol’s gaze and found himself moving towards her. Holding out his hand, she automatically slid her palm against his, clasping their fingers together just like they did every day. They had spent so much time together, that he’d forgotten that their family here, barring Rick, hadn’t seen their familiar, intimate gesture. So when they were met with gaping smiles and high fives, he looked down at her and grinned.

 

“Sorry,” he muttered when she bumped his shoulder as they walked. “Forgot they didn’t know.”

 

“I want everyone to know,” she told him then, tilting her face up. “We’re not hiding.”

 

“No, we’re not,” he grinned, lowering his head to press his lips to hers in a brief kiss that left no one in any doubts that the two of them were definitely together.

 

000

 

Later that evening, the remaining members of the family had gathered in the family room after dinner. Carol stayed close by Daryl’s side, the two of them unconsciously needing to be in each other’s personal space most of the time. The rest of the family had noticed, Rick in particular paying close attention to the couple. He watched as they seemed to seek each other out when they drifted away from each other. He was glad they were here, both of them. He longed to have them home, to settle back in Alexandria to take their rightful place here again. He needed them to know how much they had been missed.

 

Clearing his throat, he looked around the room at the people he loved, noting how fewer in numbers they were now. They had lost so many loved ones over the years...and he found himself needing to cling onto the family that was left. Losing Maggie to the Hilltop and Carol and Daryl to the Kingdom, he felt everyone slipping away. He’d been filled with such sadness that he was ready to promise the returning couple anything they wanted, just to have them home again.

 

“It’s good to have you both home,” he announced as he held up his glass. “Our family has gotten smaller, and having the two of you back with us means so much to all of us...no matter how long you intend to stay.”

 

Carol met his gaze, her eyes stinging with unshed tears. So far she’d managed to keep herself disconnected, just telling herself that this was just a visit...but then Carl held her so tight, and told her how much they were both missed…

 

Daryl reached for her hand and squeezed her fingers, not caring who witnessed how relaxed he had become now. He loved this woman with everything he had. Whatever she needed, he knew he was going to give it to her...anything.

 

“We’re staying for a few days at least,” Daryl told them before he met Carol’s eyes. “Maybe more.”

 

“Maybe,” she nodded, smiling up at him with watery eyes. “We’ll see.”

 

“I remember when we first all started this family of ours,” Rick sighed, looking down into his wine glass. “There were so many of us then...and now, I look around this room and see the people I love most in this world...and I thank whatever god is up there, for bringing all of us together.”

 

“Just how many of those have ya had?” Daryl grinned, his words causing the former sheriff to break out into a smile.

 

“Not nearly enough!” Rick chortled, shaking his head against the blush that crept over his face.

 

“Well, if we’re making speeches,” Michonne chimed in, her dulcet tones drifting through the room. “I didn’t start out with all of you, but I kinda wish I had. I thought that all the good people were gone after the turn, but then I found all of you... _Carol_ …”

 

Lifting her eyes, Carol looked up at her friend and watched her expectantly as the other woman tried to find the right words.

 

“ _I_...I really want you to stay, for _my_ own selfish reasons,” she chuckled, before blinking back the wetness in her eyes. “I miss my friend...my sparring partner… my _sister_ …”

 

Carol swallowed heavily and clutched onto Daryl’s hand, trying to hold onto the one thing that anchored her to this world. She knew she should say something, but she was afraid to speak, fearing her voice would betray her.

 

Michonne watched her affectionately and smiled despite the emotion filling the room. Lightening the tone, she looked right at Daryl and nodded towards him. “And of course, I miss you too Redneck!”

 

Shaking his head, Daryl sniggered into his glass. He did miss everyone here, and he missed being part of this big family they had created, but he wasn’t willing to sacrifice Carol’s happiness for the sake of his own. He tried to find something to say, something that would appease both their family and the woman by his side...but before he could speak, Carol pulled their joined hands onto her thigh and leaned into his side.

 

“I don’t know how long we’re planning to stay,” her voice was soft as she spoke, the wine in her system loosening her words. Lifting her head up to the man beside her, she looked up at him and smiled beautifully. “All I know right now is I want to be wherever you are...I don’t care whether that’s here, or whether it’s back at the house...or in a cardboard box. I don’t care.”

 

Daryl’s eyes clouded over and all he could focus on was her. The room around them disappeared; their family melting away. Lowering his lips to hers, he pressed a lingering kiss over her mouth, sealing them together in so much love, that he forgot they were with everyone else, until the sounds of aww’s and sniffles filled the room.

 

“My god, that was beautiful,” Michonne gushed before she shot Rick a mock glare. “Now why don’t you say things like that to me?”

 

“What?” he gasped, his mouth opening and closing as he looked at in total surrender. “I…”

 

“I want you to stay,” Carl’s voice was soft and wavering when he looked upon Carol with wet eyes. “Sometimes, I just…”

 

Pulling herself from Daryl’s grasp, Carol shifted forward and held her hand out toward the younger Grimes man. He came to her willingly, sinking onto his knees to crawl into her waiting arms. Whether it was the wine talking, or just the high emotion of the evening, Carl found himself sinking into her embrace, clinging onto her.

 

“It’ll be okay, sweetheart,” Carol whispered into his hair. “I promise.”

 

“I miss mom,” he whispered brokenly, burying himself further into her.

 

Tightening her hold, Carol held the young man affectionately for a few more moments before she slowly loosened her hold and pushed him back slightly.

 

“You know, wherever I am, I will always be there for you,” she told him firmly, seeking out his tearful eyes. “I promised your mother that you wouldn’t be swallowed up by the coldness of this world...and you weren’t...she would be so proud of you honey, you know that right?”

 

Nodding his head, Carl closed his eyes when she reached out to his face to wipe his tears away with her thumbs. How could she leave them now? How could she turn her back on the family she loved when she would hurt them by turning away?

 

“We’re not sayin’ we’re never comin’ back home,” Daryl told him, meeting Carl’s eyes as he spoke. “Yer dad offered us our own place here...thought we’d check it out while we’re here.”

 

“Yes…” Rick’s eyes lit up hopefully with Daryl’s words. “Tomorrow morning, I’ll take you over to see it.”

 

“As long as it’s not Tobin’s old house,” Carol told him jokingly, while watching for any signs from Rick that Tobin’s was exactly the house he’d picked out for them.

 

“No,” shaking his head, Rick grinned happily. “It’s not...but tonight you’re both in Carol’s old room...unless, you don’t want to share, you know, in this house...if you want separate…”

 

“We’ll be sleepin’ in the same damn bed,” Daryl groused, both embarrassed and proud to openly announce it. “Ya didn’t see another bed in Carol’s place did ya?”

 

“I... just wanted to make sure,” Rick held his hand up in surrender, grinning at the couple who were looking at him with thunderous glares. Lifting his glass back up to his lips, he took another sip of wine and chuckled softly...it was good to have them home

 

Epilogue to follow soon


	9. Chapter 9

Carol was busy going through the last cupboard in the kitchen when Daryl came up behind her. Wrapping his arms around her, he splayed his fingers over her stomach and buried his lips against the curve of her neck and shoulder.

 

“Hmmm…” she hummed as she leaned her back against his chest. “Maybe...we can come back here sometime…”

 

“Yeah…” he mumbled, his voice lost against her soft skin. Kissing his way up the side of her neck, her stopped when he reached her ear. “We got time...ya wanna screw around…”

 

Carol shivered against him and turned around in the circle of his arms. Reaching up, her hands glided over his shirt, smoothing their way over his chest until she looped her arms around his neck. She met his lips with her own, kissing him lazily as she buried her fingers into his hair.

 

Pressing his body into hers, Daryl nudged Carol backwards until her lower back nudged against the kitchen counter. Breaking their kiss, Daryl lifted his head to smile down at her flushed face and lowered his forehead to hers.

 

“Ya sure yer ready to leave here?”

 

“Yes...but we can come back here sometimes,” she told him with a soft smile. “When we need to be away from everything else.”

 

Nodding against her, Daryl moved his forehead from hers to pepper small kisses over her temple, her cheeks...until kissing his way lower still. Dragging his lips down the column of her throat, he made the slow trek back, licking and kissing his way to the underside of her chin before making his way towards her mouth once more. She met his lips with her own, wrapping her arms tightly around his shoulders to keep his body closer. Somewhere in the back of her mind, she knew they needed to stop. They weren’t alone and there was no telling when their moving party would come back into the house unannounced...but his kisses were addictive and she found herself falling in deeper.

 

Daryl bumped his tongue against hers, groaning into her mouth as he pressed himself in tighter against her body. He could already feel the tingling in his belly, as the coil of arousal stirred that part of him that always longed for her. They had to stop before he had her half naked and grinding against him...but when she lowered her hand and slipped her fingers beneath his shirt, all thoughts of pulling away scattered from his mind.

 

They were so lost in each other that they didn’t hear the knock on the front door, or the door opening, to reveal Tara and Carl who had come to help them pack up their things. Moving ahead of Carl, Tara looked around the room and stopped, wondering where the Dixon's could be hiding in such a small house. Moving towards the small kitchen, she sauntered through the door only to stop dead in her tracks. Her mouth opened and closed when she saw the couple locked in a kiss that made her insides ache.

 

“Hey, when the two of you come up for air,” she called, amusement lacing through her words. “Me and Carl will be in the car…we’ll let you... _finish_...”

 

Daryl tore his lips from Carol’s and moved back slightly, but quickly realised he wasn’t going to be able to hide the bulge in his pants. Carol’s cheeks flushed and she dipped her head to hide her face into the crook of his neck, completely mortified that they had gotten so carried away. Thank god Tara hadn’t come in a few minutes later, because she was sure that she would have seen a whole lot more than them kissing.

 

Tara’s laughter echoed throughout the house, and Daryl clamped his eyes closed when he heard her obvious delight when she told Carl they weren’t quite done yet. Embarrassment flooded through him, but when Carol lifted her head to meet his gaze, getting caught didn’t matter so much anymore.

 

“You okay?” she asked, her soft voice sounding like velvet against his ears.

 

“Hmm…” he muttered, pressing his lips against her throat. “Fuckin’ Tara…”

 

“Yeah…”

 

“Nearly walked in on somethin’ else,” he groused, grazing her throat with his lips before he reluctantly stepped away and out of her embrace.

 

Carol groaned with the loss of him and she was caught in between needing him and pushing him away. Her eyes drank him in, raking over his kiss swollen lips, and all the way down to where his obvious arousal was still showing no signs of fading.

 

“We need to take care of that,” she told him with a smirk, her eyes gleaming with something akin to pride before she moved in closer to him again. “We never had sex in the bathroom before...the door has a lock…”

 

Daryl’s eyes flared, and it took him all of two seconds to reach for her hand and pull her with him towards the smallest room in their little house. Her soft laughter echoed around them when he tugged her behind him, not caring that Tara knew exactly what they were going to be doing when they didn’t leave the house right away...but none of that mattered, not anymore…

 

000

 

“Where do you want this, Carol?” Tara asked when she carried a small box into the Dixon’s new home.

 

Carol looked up at the younger woman and smiled brightly when she motioned for her to place the box onto the large dining table at the end of the room. She watched when Tara placed the box onto the dark mahogany surface, sliding the small box into the centre of the table.

 

“Tara,” Carol’s soft voice halted the younger woman’s movements as she turned to leave.

 

Tara stopped and looked at her expectantly, her questioning smile fading a little when she saw the worry in the older woman’s eyes. “Carol?”

 

“Can we sit?” Carol asked her, her voice hesitant as she reached for Tara’s hand to guide her towards the plush sofa beneath the large bay window.

 

Tara followed her, suddenly worried that there was something horribly wrong. Her mind thought back to the last few hours, and apart from the light teasing when the embarrassed couple finally made it out of their old house, she couldn’t think what else could be wrong.

 

“Hey, are you okay?” She asked worriedly, watching for any kind of reaction from the woman who was clutching onto her hand.

 

“Me?” Carol asked in surprise. “I’m fine...it’s you I’m worried about.”

 

“Me?” Tara asked in confusion. “I’m good...what…”

 

“Tonia,” Carol blurted out the name in a rush, squeezing the other woman’s hand a little tighter. “I’m so sorry.”

 

“Tonia?” Tara asked, shaking her head. “She causing more trouble for you two? Want me to kick her ass for good this time?”

 

“What? _No_ …” sighing heavily, Carol lifted her gaze to focus on the young woman before her. “Did Rick tell you what she did?”

 

“Yeah, he did...and can’t say I blame her Carol, I mean, you’re hot!”

 

Carol blushed, lowering her eyes before she swallowed at the lump forming in her throat. “She came back.”

 

“Huh?”

 

Lifting her head, Carol squeezed Tara’s fingers as she spoke, shifting herself a little closer. “She came back to the house when Daryl wasn’t there...and…”

 

“What?” Tara asked, urging her on when Carol’s voice filtered away.. “What did she do?”

 

“I’m so sorry Tara,” Carol sighed heavily as she fought to find the right words. “She told me she used you and Daryl to get closer to me...I’m really sorry honey. I know you liked her.”

 

“ _Bitch!_ ” Tara’s voice rose as she spoke, trying her best to stay calm. “Did she try anything? Hurt you?”

 

“No...but…” shaking her head, Carol tried to force the images of the blonde intruder out of her mind. “She’s gone...that’s all that matters now. She’s not coming back here anymore.”

 

“Good,” patting Carol’s hand, Tara pulled away from the silver haired woman to get to her feet. “We’re all better off without her.”

 

“I just wanted to make sure you were okay.”

 

“I’m good,” Tara told her with a smile as she made her way towards the main door before peering back at her. “How about you? Are you okay?”

 

“I am,” Carol nodded, her lips widening as she smiled brightly. “For the first time in a very long time, I really am.”

 

“Cool,” Tara grinned, her eyes catching Daryl’s when he opened the front door. Her eyes sparkled with mirth when she saw how his flared with embarrassment when she winked at him. “I’m gonna get outta here before I catch the encore to the Dixon’s sex show!”

 

“Fuck off!” Daryl groused when she practically skipped passed him, delighting in her ability to make him blush.

 

“Lock the doors next time!”

 

Daryl’s answer was to flip her off, scowling even more when she broke out into laughter before jogging away from their house. Closing the door, he half turned before he reached out to turn the lock, securing the two of them inside. Shaking his head, he turned back around to see the woman he loved looking up at him with a bright smile gracing her lips, and every single worry he’d had suddenly melted away.

 

“Hey, y’okay?”

 

“I am now,” Carol grinned as she shifted forward off the sofa and got to her feet. Moving towards the table, she brushed her fingers across the plush surface as she looked around the large family room of their new home. “Have you seen the size of the kitchen? It’s bigger that our entire _house_.”

 

“Yeah, s’good though,” he nodded, moving behind her to slip his arms around her, pulling her back against his chest. “Ya sure yer okay with livin’ back here?”

 

“Hmm…” she hummed, folding her arms over his on her stomach. “It’ll take a bit of getting used to, but I’m good.”

 

Tilting her to the side, Carol half turned to meet his seeking lips before he loosened his hold. Breaking their kiss, she turned around in his arms, sinking against his body to hold him tightly against her. His arms closed around her, tugging her in closer to nestle his face into the crook of her neck.

 

“We’re gonna be okay,” he whispered through the soft kisses he pressed against her shoulder. “You and me...we’re gonna be just fine…”

 

“Yes,” she smiled, her eyes closing with the sensations of his warm breath against her skin. “We’re gonna be okay…”

 

Lifting his head, Daryl looked down at her, his eyes drinking her in. He didn’t think he would ever get used to feeling this way, so completely consumed by his love for this woman. He would never be worthy enough, or good enough...but he knew he was going to be the best man, the best husband that he could ever be...because the thought of life without her was just too terrifying to comprehend.

 

Lowering his forehead to touch against hers, he closed his eyes and relished the feel of her against him.

 

“I love you,” she told him softly, her voice causing his eyes to snap open to meet her gaze. “I’ve always loved you...you know that don’t you?”

 

Swallowing heavily, Daryl nodded and cursed the now familiar sting of tears that were gathering in his eyes. Lifting his forehead from hers, he lowered his mouth to hers, capturing her lips in a searing kiss that was full of everything he wanted to say. When he pulled away, breathless and so hopelessly in love, he tugged her back against his body, holding onto her with everything he possessed.

 

“Love ya…” he groaned into her throat, punctuating the words with grazing kisses that caused her to gasp with the intensity of his touch. So, when she pulled away from him to hold out her hand, it took him a few seconds for his head to engage with the rest of his body. She stepped backwards, beckoning for him to follow her as she led him towards the stairs.

 

Reaching for her hand, he grasped hold of her fingers and grinned at her like a love sick teenager...and he knew right here and now, that they were going to survive this world. They were going to live out their lives, safe, happy and whole…together.

 

000

 

The young blonde sat in her bed and pulled her knees up towards her chest. Her shoulder ached from the wound her lover had given her, and she really hoped that it would leave a noticeable scar. Tattooists were a thing of the old world now, but if she ever found one she would ask him to trace around the jagged edges, marking the lovers kiss for all eternity.

 

If only that damn redneck hadn’t come back…

 

Opening her eyes, Tonia looked around her tiny room and pulled at the heavy chain that kept her secured to the wall. She knew how to work the system...play nice and make everyone see that you’ve changed...it wasn’t so hard. She’d done it before.

 

And when she was free of these chains and this...this...prison, she was going to find the woman she loved and rid her of that worthless husband of hers once and for all. With him gone, she would see just how wonderful they could be together. All Carol had to do was take everything she offered her and love her, like she loved her…

 

Carol…

 

Tonia laid back onto her bed, wincing a little when her shoulder stung against the heavy gauze that covered her stitches. The dull ache filtered away when she relaxed against the pillows, and she released the breath she had been holding.

 

Closing her eyes, her mind filled with images of the woman who had caused her whole body to come alive. One day, soon they were going to be together...and they were going to be so happy without her damn husband or that king interfering.

 

They were going to be together…

 

Soon…

 

END


End file.
